Obama vs. Hillary. In a word: "BURN" (or maybe "pwned")

Barack speaks

It's 3am--and I haven't blogged in ages--but I feel you need to read Barack Obama's latest speech in Iowa:

A little less than one year from today you will go into the voting booth and you will select the next President of the United States. Here’s the good news. The name G.W. Bush will not be on the ballot. The name of my cousin Dick Cheney will not be on the ballot. We’ve been trying to hide that for a long time. Everybody has a black sheep in the family. [laughter]

The era of Scooter Libby justice and Brownie incompetence and Karl Rove politics will finally be over. But the question you’re gonna have to ask yourself when you caucus in January and you vote in November is what’s next for America. We are at a defining moment in our history…The promise that so many generations fought for seems like it’s slipping away…we’ve lost faith that our leaders can or will do anything about it.

It is because of those failures that America is listening…we not only have a moment of great challenge, but a moment of great opportunity. We have a chance to bring the American people together, in a new majority…

That’s why telling the American people what we think they want to hear instead of telling the American people what they need to hear just won’t do. Triangulating and poll-driven positions because we’re worried about what Mitt or Rudy might say about us just won’t do…

If we are really serious about winning this election Democrats, then we can’t be afraid of losing. The party of Jefferson and Jackson and Roosevelt and Kennedy has always made the biggest difference in the lives of the American people…when we summoned the entire nation to a common purpose, a higher purpose.

A party that doesn’t just focus on how to win, but why we should. A party that doesn’t just offer change as a slogan but real, meaningful change, change that America can believe in. That’s why I’m in this race, that’s why I’m running for the Presidency of the United States, to offer change that we can believe in!…I am in this race because I want to stop talking about the outrage of 47 million Americans without healthcare and start actually doing something about it. I expanded healthcare in Illinois by bringing Democrats and Republicans together, by taking on the insurance industry and that is how I will make certain that ever American in this country has healthcare…and I will do by the end of my first term of the President of the United States of America.

…I am running for President because I am sick and tired of Democrats thinking that the only way to look tough on national security is by acting and voting like George Bush Republicans.

…When I am this party’s nominee, my opponent will not be able to say that I voted for the war in Iraq…And he will not be able to say that I waivered on something as fundamental as whether it is okay for America to torture because it is never okay. That’s why I’m in it!

…I will lead the world to combat the common threats of the 21st century…and I will send once more a message to those yearning faces beyond our shores that says you matter to us, your future is our future, and our moment is now. America, our moment is now.

Our moment is now!

I don’t want to spend the next year or the next four years refighting the same fights that we had in the 1990s. I don’t want to pit red America against blue America. I want to be the President of the United States of America.

And if those Republicans come at me with the same fear-mongering and swift-boating that they usually do, then I will take them head-on. Because I believe the American people are tired of fear, and tired of distractions…we can make this election not about fear, but about the future, and that will not be just a Democratic victory, that will be an American victory, a victory that America needs right now!

I am not in this race to fulfill some longheld ambitions or because I believe it’s somehow owed to me. I never expected to be here. I always knew this journey was improbable. I am running in this race because of of what Dr. King called “the fierce urgency of now.” Because I believe that there’s such a thing as being too late, and that hour is almost upon us.

…I’m in this race for the same reason that I found for jobs for jobless and hope for the hopeless on the streets of Chicago, for the same reason that I fought for justice and equality as a civil rights lawyer…I will never forget that the only reason that I’m standing here today is because someone had the courage to stand up!

…That’s why I’m running, Democrats. To keep the American dream alive..in this election, in this moment, let us reach for what we know is possible. A nation healed and world repaired. An America that believes again.

M.C. Escher in LEGO form

You know, some people see LEGOs as just some semi-sophisticated children's toys...slightly-evolved Lincoln Logs, if you will. But for others, a LEGO is an artistic tool--a handy medium for personal expression.

People in this second group may use LEGOs to depict the Bible. Others may make a LEGO version of Michael Jackson's Thriller. And then some people--people with a lot of vision (and spare time)--remake M.C. Escher's Relativity:


Can you say "wow." How about "ow, my head just hurts looking at that."


On their website, the LEGO artist go into great detail about how they constructed their masterpieces. From hidden scaffolds, to sawing LEGOs in half, these guys went through a lot of trouble to pull off the visual-trickery and physics-defying world of M.C. Escher.


You know, with such trails and tribulations being needed to recreate Escher's fantasies in the real world, some may say that it proves that Escher was a visual genius of the highest order. But others may say that the guy was just wacked outta his freakin' skull.

Me? I can't help but think about that scene in The Labyrinth.

Adios, Alberto Gonzales

So, back in March I predicted that Attorney General Alberto Gonzales would soon lose his job (yeah, I really went out on a limb there, didn't I?). Well, it took longer than I thought it would, but finally Mr. Gonzales has resigned.

Part of me was smiling...then laughing...when I read the news of Mr. Gonzales' resignation. Alberto Gonzales has never seemed quite up to the job of Attorney General, and he kept making a fool of himself each time he appeared before Congress. From claiming that it was perfectly fine for a medically-sedated John Ashcroft to sign legal documents, to asserting that the American people are NOT granted the writ of habeas corpus, the Attorney General has made a mockery of his position, America's legal system, and himself. I have to say, I was pretty relieved to see him leave office.

But I was saddened by the reasons why Mr. Gonzales had to resign, for they were reasons he brought upon himself. The country has had a feckless and incompetent Attorney General for some time now. The country's Attorney General has lost most (if not all) respect in the eyes of his peers and Congress. The country's Attorney General has dragged the Justice Department through the mud. And with the American people currently questioning the readiness of FEMA, and the military competence of Department of Defense, the last thing the country needs is another part of the federal government to lose faith in. You see, while I may not agree with the political ideology of the current administration, I want those within the administration to be competent and truthful--Alberto Gonzales was neither.

I was further saddened when I realized that, with only 15 months left in the current administration, anyone President Bush nominates for AG will have little time to clean-up the tarnished name of the DOJ. Let me put it another way: President Bush will need to nominate someone to fill Gonzales' chair, that person will have to be approved by Congress, appointed and sworn in as Attorney General, and then spend probably the first month just learning the staffs' names. Only after all of that can the new AG actually start doing their job.

And I'm not sure how many people, who have the talent and experience necessary to be Attorney General, would want to take a job that will only last about a year. My hope is that serving at the pleasure of the President--and the pleasure of the American people--will be enough of a draw for any qualified candidates.

But no matter what happens, in the end I'm glad to see Mr. Gonzales go...the country is better off.

Threadless.com gets my money again

You can never have enough unique t-shirts...

Road-trip Ruminations

This past weekend, I spent 8 hours driving in the car by myself. I'm sure anyone who has done this can testify that a solo driving experience is a double-edged sword: you have the solitude to let your mind wander and think up great conversation starters, but there is no one around to talk to.

So, since none of you were there to enjoy my random thoughts--and see the random sights--I thought I'd share:

• Why is there a "China Grove, North Carolina"? Is it like China Town in NYC, where Chinese immigrants can have a bit of the home country right here in America? Is there a "China Grove Inn;" and if so, is it a motel or Chinese restaurant?

• Heaven better have a never-ending supply of Bojangles sweet tea and Chick-fil-a lemonade.

• Right after crossing the North Carolina-South Carolina border, there's a sudden spike in Clemson paraphernalia. There's also a spike in overweight rednecks wearing overalls. Those two facts are probably related. (In other words: Go Gamecocks!!)

• Due to recent events in Minneapolis, I am now consciously aware of each and every bridge I have to cross. And I have a feeling that I'm not the only one.

• Rihanna's hit "Umbrella" is far less impressive when not thumping out of some club's speakers. And I will pay someone to steal T-Pain's damn voice -modulator. Seriously, without the thing he'll fall off the face of the Earth, and we will all be better off.

• Big Pete brought this up back in the day, and it still holds true: why is there always that one lone shoe on the side of the highway? Where's the other shoe? And why are people going around losing shoes in the first place?

• Why did I never get into watching The Cosby Show? It seems that everyone else can rattle off the names of all the Huxtable kids, who the kids married, and in what episode kid X did insanely stupid stunt Y, resulting in the weekly Cliff Huxtable truism and/or punishment. But not me...nope, I can't even tell you where the heck Raven-Symoné's character came from. Seriously, there were like 28 kids running around in that house--how does anyone keep them straight? (But I do remember the episode where the men were pregnant, and gave birth to footballs and subway sandwiches...that was funny stuff.)

• How many tractor-trailer companies do we need? Seriously, you've got: J.B. Hunt, Old Dominion, Swift, Knight, Roadway, Maersk, Covenant Transport, Schneider and Celadon just to name a few. Don't they all do basically the same thing? Sure, maybe some of them specialize in hauling...I dunno...cold stuff versus not-cold stuff...but they all haul stuff. Do we really need all of them?

Why I just bought my first Harry Potter book

Yes, it is true...two weeks ago I bought Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.


No, I didn't stand in line for 8 hours at a Barnes & Noble to snatch up a copy of Deathly Hallows the moment it was released. Nor did I dress up like Dumbledore. And never fear, I did not pre-order book 7 to be FedEx-ed to my door the morning of the release. But the fact remains: I bought the book.


So how did I go from never reading a Harry Potter book (and only watching the movies), to owning and obsessing over Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows?

reason #1. Without saying too much about Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, the latest movie left me wanting more. As I said before, I have seen all the previous Harry Potter movies, and each one felt like a chapter from Harry's life. But the latest movie felt more like a snippet...a slice...a mere placeholder for the better movies to come. I left the movie theater entertained, but wholly unfulfilled--I wanted more.

reason #2. I knew book 7 was coming out soon. And with book 7 would come the end of the series.

reason #3. I knew that with the way the internet and news media work these days, the public would know the end of book 7--and thus the conclusion of the Harry Potter series--within weeks.

reason #4. It will be four years until Deathly Hallows will be released as a movie. I predicted that by that time, my interest in the lives of Harry, Ron, and Hermione may have waned.

So, to avoid this anti-climatic end to Harry Potter, I decided to avoid all media stories about book 7, buy a copy of the book, read it cover-to-cover, and enjoy all the plot twists, magical spells, untimely deaths, mystical creatures, and whatever else J.K. Rowling had in store. I wanted to approach the end of the Harry Potter series the way it was supposed to be approached.


Well, almost the way it was supposed to be approached. I must face facts: I have committed a cardinal sin in the world of Harry Potter. I have not read book 1-6. Worse yet, instead of reading book 6, I just went to Half-Blooded Prince's Wikipedia page to get the quick synopsis.

You see, by buying book 7, I jumped to the end of the series and used the movies as a pale and inadequate facsimile of the actual books. But you have to understand something: while I consider Harry Potter to be good storytelling steeped in an intricate world of rich and dynamic characters, the books aren't a part of my life--they're not what I grew up on.

Nevertheless, despite not reading books 1-6 (and thus facing reading book 7 with far less gusto than other Harry Potter fans), two Saturdays ago I went to buy Deathly Hallows. As I said before, I did not stand in a line for 8 hours to get the book. I just went to Best Buy at 10am. Why Best Buy? Well, I wanted to avoid a large Harry Potter crowd, and I figured no one would think to go to the "computer/tv/music store" to buy a book. Not only that, but a relative gave me a $20 gift card to Best Buy. In other words: "Two birds, one stone."

Now, for some reason I assumed that my local Best Buy opened at 9am. Well, when I strolled in at 10:05am, I realized that the store actually opens at 10am on Saturdays. "Great" I thought, "I'm here five minutes after they opened to buy Harry Potter, I look real cool right about now." As I walked through the doors, and exchanged "good morning" pleasantries with the security guard, I turned straight ahead and saw a very prominent Harry Potter display. We're talking a big, yellow display with a cardboard Harry Potter standing next to it.


"What to do," I thought. "If I just waltz up to this advertising monstrosity, grab a copy of book 7, and walk over to the cashier, people may think that I'm about 30 seconds away from breaking down in a hysterical, tears-of-joy, Deathly Hallows conniption." I had to make this shopping trip as nonchalant as possible.

So, what would be "nonchalant"? Oh, randomly meandering throughout the store, that's what.

Yeah, I somehow found myself looking over Best Buy's vacuum cleaner selection, and comparing their washer & dryers. About 30 seconds later I was in the computer section. After that, headphones were staring me in the face.

So, after about 2 minutes of bouncing aimlessly throughout the store, I had to face the truth--I had nothing to do in this store except buy the damn book. Well, at least I avoided the whole "run up to the book, snatch the closest copy, high tail it to the cashier, and scurry off to read the book in one sitting" scenario.

Well, once I decided just go buy the book, I knew the awkwardness would be over. Or so I thought. I got my copy of the book, walked to the cashier, and placed the book on the counter. The cashier, who had probably been on the job for about 7 minutes by this point, said "oh, Harry Potter" with equal parts "oh yeah, this came out today" and "oooohhh, you're one of them." Now, as you can tell, I wanted to avoid all perception that I was a crazy, obsessed, un-balanced fanatic (petty, I know), so I quickly responded "oh, I'm not one of those people." And the cashier's response to my rebuttal? "Uhuhh, sure you're not."

*Grrrr*

I flirted with the idea of explaining my reasoning for buying book 7...thought about stating that this was my first Harry Potter book purchase...thought about saying anything that would disapprove his assumption that I had a life-sized cutout of Albus Dumbledore at home.

But, to avoid a "methinks the lady doth protest too much" situation, I just shut up and let him scan the book. And then, it was time to pay. And it was here when I remembered how I was buying this book--my gift card.

Great! Suddenly, without warning, I became an apparent self-hating Harry Potter fan-in-denial, using a gift card that my grandma probably bought me, buying the latest Harry Potter book as soon as the store opened. You know my mission to buy this book as nonchalantly as possible? Yeah, consider that mission a failure.

But you wanna know something? As I got back in my car, and drove off, I realized that I had the last book of the Harry Potter series in MY CAR. Right there, about two feet from me, was how it all ends. I felt like I had Texas gold; I couldn't wait to start reading.


Two weeks--and 759 pages later--I have finished the book. I won't go into too much detail, but I will say that book 7 was a superb read that delivered everything I expected and more. Yes, it's true that I did not stand in a line for 8 hours, or read each and every Harry Potter book cover-to-cover, but that doesn't really matter. I threw myself head-first into Deathly Hallows: I dedicated myself to the book, and I soaked in every word along the way. So now count me amongst the legion of fans who shoot evil-death-eyes at anyone who has disparaging remarks about the book, the plot, the author, or anything else having to do with Potter.


And if anyone can get me a Cloak of Invisibility, that would be great.

Dream-y

(warning: heterosexual males [and lesbians] may not find this post very interesting)






Oh Matt Damon...so down-to-earth, so not corrupted by Hollywood, so guy-next-door, so into football, so adorable.

In other words: *drool*

Another awesome shirt

If you were wondering, yes I did end up buying that shirt, but I doubt I'll be buying this one:





Yeah, no question that the shirt is awesome. So why am I not buying? Well, I figure people will spend 5 minutes reading my chest, and will either end up loving shirt, or will be confused by some of the references. That, or people will be pissed off that I just "ruined" The Usual Suspects for them (because I know that the shirt "ruined" Dumbledore's killer for me).

Any thoughts? Opinions?

Theories as to why that guy is making that face?

Who is our largest enemy in Iraq?

The L.A. Times has an answer:

Although Bush administration officials have frequently lashed out at Syria and Iran, accusing it of helping insurgents and militias here, the largest number of foreign fighters and suicide bombers in Iraq come from a third neighbor, Saudi Arabia, according to a senior U.S. military officer and Iraqi lawmakers.

About 45% of all foreign militants targeting U.S. troops and Iraqi civilians and security forces are from Saudi Arabia; 15% are from Syria and Lebanon; and 10% are from North Africa, according to official U.S. military figures made available to The Times by the senior officer. Nearly half of the 135 foreigners in U.S. detention facilities in Iraq are Saudis, he said.

Fighters from Saudi Arabia are thought to have carried out more suicide bombings than those of any other nationality, said the senior U.S. officer, who spoke on condition of anonymity because of the subject's sensitivity.

Well, seeing that 15 of the 19 September 11th hijackers were from Saudi Arabia, I guess this supports the President's ascertation that "the same folks that are bombing innocent people in Iraq are the ones who attacked us on Sept. 11." Of course, President Bush was talking about Al Qaeda in Iraq, and not Saudis, but even I can admit when the President inadvertently gets it half-right.

Now, I'd be a lax blogger if I didn't make two follow-up points:

1. Who is one of our allies in the War on Terrorism? Saudi Arabia.

2. Which Middle Eastern royal family has good and friendly relationship with the Bush family? Saudi Arabia's royal family.

Don't get me wrong, I don't believe--nor am I saying--that all Saudis are against us. But based on the above paragraph, it seems pretty clear why we haven't heard much about the Saudi Arabia/Iraq insurgency connection...

Finally, someone figured out those damn Pearl Jam lyrics!

what a relief, it's all so clear now!

Leahy lays a smackdown

Hot damn. Or, as Andrew Sullivan notes, "here's what's been wrong with the Bush administration from Day One."

Pick the new SC licence plate

Do you live in South Carolina? Are you originally from South Carolina? Did you go to a school in South Carolina? Do you ever drive through South Carolina? Well then, you'd probably prefer it if South Carolina's next license plate is not boring as hell (Michigan), does not resemble a Saturday morning cartoon (Kentucky), literally be "gay" (Hawaii), look like someone spent about 3 seconds designing it (Missouri), or have an outline of the state so people know they're not in Kansas anymore (Nebraska).

Well, you're in luck, because the Palmetto State wants your help in picking the next license plate. The three choices are below:




















I know what you're thinking: "Wow, I really like that one, but those other two are ugly as sin, and I would hate to see them darken the fair Palmetto State. I better make sure the one I like wins." Good, I like the way you think! And because you have a favorite choice, you should go here, vote, and ensure that for years to come, all South Carolinians will be proud to look at the backside of the car in front of them.

I took the GRE.

Yep, it's done.

Well, I didn't do as well as I would have liked, but strangely, I'm ok with that. I've always been a very optimistic, "look on the bright side" kinda guy, and as such, after I got my verbal and math scores, I simply thought, "ok, guess I'm taking it again." No big meltdown, no waving my fist at God, no disparaging remarks about the test or the test-makes, none of that. Nope, just simple realization that I have more work to do if I want to enter a good graduate school.

I also know that there's no shame in having to take the test twice. My friend Judy had to take the GRE two times, and now she's at a PhD program at Florida. And today, while waiting to take the test, another girl commented on how this was her second time taking the GRE. So I figure if nothing else, taking the test twice just means I get to refine my standardized test-taking skills. That, and I'll actually get to use the GRE Powerprep that ETS (the makers of the GRE) just sent me. Apparently, the Powerprep CD-ROM has two sample tests, its own math review, test tutorials, et cetera and so on. You know, a lot of good stuff that would have come in handy if I hadn't received the CD-ROM a mere five days before my test...

But, back to me "looking on the bright side": I also noticed that I actually can sit at a desk for multiple hours and focus on the subject at hand. With no caffeine in my system I was able to jump from essay writing to perimeters of triangle with grace and ease. Oh, and about the essays: I can crank out some kick-ass stuff on the fly! I guess blogging is good for something afterall.

After the test, part of me actually considered taking one of those GRE prep classes; but the other 99.9% of me decided that those classes cost too much money and I ain't Mr. Moneybags over here. So what are my next steps? Well, I'm taking about two weeks off from studying to recharge my batteries; then I'm jumping back in to the studying fray. Also, I'm going to look at the local part-time grad programs to see how my GRE scores stack up against the programs' requirements. But most of all, my most immediate plan is to use hardly any of my higher brain functions until I go back to work on Wednesday.

But, nevertheless, thanks for well-wishes AK and Nick and everyone else; you can keep 'em coming over the next few months.

I'm taking the GRE...

...in T-minus 48 hours.

Yep, after what seems like years of studying, I'm finally taking this dreaded test on Monday at 1pm. I'm pretty sure my brain will be mush by Monday at 5pm. Luckily, due to my foresight to request the day off of work, my ass (and the rest of me) will be laying on my couch Tuesday, starting whenever the hell I get outta bed. Pretty much I plan to be a study in the art of laziness.

But before I can get to Tuesday, I've gotta get through last-minute studying and actually taking the test.

Wish me luck. Prayers are welcome.

...and that's what loving is all about.

Let me tell you a little story: in 1958 Mildred Jeter, a black woman, had married Richard Perry Loving, a white man. Soon after, the state of Virginia arrested them both for marrying outside their race. Why? Because the "Almighty God created the races white, black, yellow, Malay and red, and he placed them on separate continents" which "shows that he did not intend for the races to mix."

However, in 1967, after years of legal battles, the U.S. Supreme Court overturned the Virginia decision (and logic). The highest court in the land decreed that "marriage is one of the 'basic civil rights of man'" and "the freedom to marry, or not marry, a person of another race resides with the individual and cannot be infringed by the State."

Today, 40 years after Loving vs. Virginia, Mrs. Loving released a statement. In it, she relates her love for her late husband, as well as the legal and moral fight that ensued after the Lovings got married. Mrs. Loving also speaks to where we were as a nation in 1967 in regards to who could and could not get married, and where we are today.

If you know me even a little, you've probably figured out where I'm going with this. And if you haven't figured it out, I feel you'll catch on.

Below is Mrs. Loving's statement, in its entirety. Read and reflect:

Loving for All

By Mildred Loving*

Prepared for Delivery on June 12, 2007,
The 40th Anniversary of the Loving vs. Virginia Announcement

When my late husband, Richard, and I got married in Washington, DC in 1958, it wasn’t to make a political statement or start a fight. We were in love, and we wanted to be married.

We didn’t get married in Washington because we wanted to marry there. We did it there because the government wouldn’t allow us to marry back home in Virginia where we grew up, where we met, where we fell in love, and where we wanted to be together and build our family. You see, I am a woman of color and Richard was white, and at that time people believed it was okay to keep us from marrying because of their ideas of who should marry whom.

When Richard and I came back to our home in Virginia, happily married, we had no intention of battling over the law. We made a commitment to each other in our love and lives, and now had the legal commitment, called marriage, to match. Isn’t that what marriage is?

Not long after our wedding, we were awakened in the middle of the night in our own bedroom by deputy sheriffs and actually arrested for the “crime” of marrying the wrong kind of person. Our marriage certificate was hanging on the wall above the bed. The state prosecuted Richard and me, and after we were found guilty, the judge declared: “Almighty God created the races white, black, yellow, malay and red, and he placed them on separate continents. And but for the interference with his arrangement there would be no cause for such marriages. The fact that he separated the races shows that he did not intend for the races to mix.” He sentenced us to a year in prison, but offered to suspend the sentence if we left our home in Virginia for 25 years exile.

We left, and got a lawyer. Richard and I had to fight, but still were not fighting for a cause. We were fighting for our love.

Though it turned out we had to fight, happily Richard and I didn’t have to fight alone. Thanks to groups like the ACLU and the NAACP Legal Defense & Education Fund, and so many good people around the country willing to speak up, we took our case for the freedom to marry all the way to the U.S. Supreme Court. And on June 12, 1967, the Supreme Court ruled unanimously that, “The freedom to marry has long been recognized as one of the vital personal rights essential to the orderly pursuit of happiness by free men,” a “basic civil right.”

My generation was bitterly divided over something that should have been so clear and right. The majority believed that what the judge said, that it was God’s plan to keep people apart, and that government should discriminate against people in love. But I have lived long enough now to see big changes. The older generation’s fears and prejudices have given way, and today’s young people realize that if someone loves someone they have a right to marry.

Surrounded as I am now by wonderful children and grandchildren, not a day goes by that I don’t think of Richard and our love, our right to marry, and how much it meant to me to have that freedom to marry the person precious to me, even if others thought he was the “wrong kind of person” for me to marry. I believe all Americans, no matter their race, no matter their sex, no matter their sexual orientation, should have that same freedom to marry. Government has no business imposing some people’s religious beliefs over others. Especially if it denies people’s civil rights.

I am still not a political person, but I am proud that Richard’s and my name is on a court case that can help reinforce the love, the commitment, the fairness, and the family that so many people, black or white, young or old, gay or straight seek in life. I support the freedom to marry for all. That’s what Loving, and loving, are all about.

Remebering how the other-half lives

The above is a map of the U.S., with each state renamed for a country with a similar gross domestic product. Now, I knew California was a rich state, but it has the same GDP as France? My word. And Texas matching Canada ain't nothing to scoff at either. But, in the end, what this map really tells me is that America is insanely rich, and most of its citizens (including me) have no idea of how the rest of the world lives.

Case in point, my friend Graham took this picture of two South African day laborers as they awaited--and hoped--for work in Cape Town:


Sometimes I have to wonder why I am so lucky to be financial comfortable, while others live on the other end of the spectrum, just struggling to survive day to day.

There's a swamp in my home, or: How my washing machine betrayed me.

Is it a dead opossum?
Maybe rotten eggs?
How about a swamp?
Yep, that's it, it smells like a swamp in my apartment.

And you ask, what is causing such a foul odor in my home? Well, my washing machine of course; because it has decided to stop draining water.

(Hmm, "getting rid of the dirty water," kind of a crucial step in the clothes-washing process, wouldn't you say?)

Now, despite my attempts to make the drain hose as straight as possible (never mind that it wasn't kinked in the first place), shaking the machine with all my fury and might, and promising the machine that I will always use "the good stuff" (i.e. Tide, not Purex), my washing machine still refuses to drain the water. I'm still wondering if there's a Catholic patron saint for victims of modern technology; and if so, how a Protestant like myself can get in that saint's good graces.

At this point, you're probably wondering why I said my washing machine smelled like a swamp. Well, (as you may recall from school) "standing water" harbors bacteria, and the bacteria in my washing machine's tub are--in a word--rank. No lie, open up my washer and the pleasant aroma of roadkill on a hot summer day fills your nostrils.

So, with a blitzkrieg being waged against my sense of smell anytime I am near the washer, the machine needs to be fixed post-haste...with the quickness...asap...quick, fast, and in a hurry. And so today, the repairman was to come out and operate on my ailing home appliance--and his estimated time of arrival was the incredibly helpful "sometime between 8am and 6pm."

Now, even though I had to stay indoors all day and wait on the repairman, I was able to use the day productively: I signed on to facebook about 18 times, caught up on the Voltron episodes stored on my DVR, watched The West Wing on DVD, cleaned my bathroom; you know, the uber-important stuff.

Well, as the afternoon turned into nighttime, and the repairman had yet to arrive, I called my appliance company. "Don't worry," they said, "he's at your apartment complex right now."

Thirty minutes later, with the repairman still M.I.A., I got the "we'll have the dispatcher call him and see where he is, and the dispatcher will call you back."

An hour later, with the repairman still a no-show, no call from a dispatcher, and water still in my washer, I called the company again, and got this response: "um, my system shows that the repair job has been completed."

[dear reader, please insert your favorite expletive here]

Suddenly, righteous indignation and I became fast friends, and I was a wellspring of rage, disparaging remarks, and sarcasm. I also think I may have made ample use of the words "incompetent" and "ridiculous," but I'm not positive.

And why am I not sure of my choice of words at that point? Well, after the customer service rep gave me the cliché and perfunctory, "I understand you're frustrated," my memory of events gets a little fuzzy. However, I do recall a lot of me waving my finger around in the air.


I have to call later today to see how soon they can get a repairman out to actually fix my washer; meanwhile, I've realized that customer service in America continues to get worse.

That, and my washing machine still smells like the elephant cage at the zoo.

This gave me pause

From Andrew Sullivan's blog:

Bush said today that we should expect an escalation of violence in Iraq because the enemy know that September is a key date for political opinion. So, let me get this straight: if there is less violence, it obviously means the surge is working, and if there is more violence it means the enemy is desperate to get us out and the surge is working.

Sigh. Looks like we're "staying the course," no matter what happens.

Or are we?

How to become a winner at Rock-Paper-Scissors!

Ever want to destroy your friends and family in a game of Rock-Paper-Scissors? Ever want to ensure that you get shotgun in a crowded car, get the last beer, or get to flirt with the attractive honey while your competition has to take the ugly friend? Well, once again, the internet has come to the rescue!

Actually, I've looked over the tips, and I think they'd be a little hard to implement in real life--the tips require a lot of forethought and continuous calculation of how someone's last move will affect their next move. Nevertheless, as a public service to all of you who make minor life decisions based on scissors cutting paper, I present to you this holy grail of cheating at Rock-Paper-Scissors.