What constitutes The South?

Yesterday, my new friend Ben was waxing poetic about his home state of Arkansas. Now, I’m not going lie, I didn’t think there was much to be proud of in Arkansas unless you supported Bill Clinton—or lived in Little Rock. Nevertheless, Ben taught me to appreciate the Ozarks, Razorbacks athletics, and Arkansas’ strong Southern culture.

Excuse me, Southern culture? Arkansas?

Now, I know you may find it strange that a gay black man loves the South (and trust me, I find it just as strange), but I never considered Arkansas to be part of my Dixie. But after my personal—and I’ll admit haphazard—test of Southern-ness (prevalence of Rebel Flags, sweet tea, Confederacy membership, unbearable humidity) I decided to concede and recognize Arkansas as the South. Upon retrospect, I should have also inquired about the local pervasiveness of kudzu and use of the phrase “y’all,” but we all know that hindsight is 20/20.

So, for your edification, my South now constitutes: Southern Virginia, North Carolina, South Carolina, Tennessee, Georgia, Alabama, Mississippi, Louisiana, and Arkansas.

And now, to explain the notable exclusions:
1. Northern Virginia (or NOVA, as the locals call it) cuddles right up to the sprawling metropolitan area of D.C. As a result, NOVA’s attempt at an identity is lost in the shadow of a capital known for its progressiveness and intermingling of diverse national and international cultures, both of which constitute an antithesis to the South.
2. Kentucky is on the fringe of being the South, so I’ll consider the state if someone convinces me to care about it.
3. Texas can't be the South because everyone from there seems to wants Texas to be its own nation anyway.
4. Florida, much like California, is such an American oddity that marches to the beat of its own Red Bull fueled manic drummer, that sometimes I wonder if it’s still considered part of the nation, let alone the South.

In other news, Pennsylvania is a Mid-Atlantic state, maybe even the Mid-West, but not New England (if you were wondering).

Do I crave the center of attention?

Ahhh, life is returning to something that resembles normalcy. I’m four weeks into the six week training at the new job, I have received the first paycheck, and the new apartment is no longer buried under a clutter of boxes. I suppose you could say that “the flux” has subsided.

Oh, and the wedding of Lindley and Mark was wonderful, as was the carpool down to Greenville (thanks for the company Linda and Phil).

But something has been troubling me since Greenville. The night before the wedding I was talking with my friend Kat who was also down for the holy matrimony. Kat randomly wanted to confirm her hypothesis that a certain Furman graduate and I did not get along, because, as she put it, “your similar personalities might clash.” Indeed, this Furman grad (let’s call him “Sturgeon”) and I aren’t exactly friends; but we’re not enemies either—at best, we’re acquaintances.

Well, as the conversation with Kat continued, she half-way said that both “Sturgeon” and I tend to dominate conversations. Um, wow.

So, now I wonder, “do I dominate conversations?” Certainly, as an only child whose parents divorced, I was the focal point of my mother’s attention. Perhaps I crave that same attention in other venues in my life—with friends, social situations, facebook, this blog, etc

Could it be that my sociability verges on being domineering?

Maybe I need to tone it down in social situations: stop focusing on myself and my stories as much, while simultaneously lessening the expression of my humor, verbal quips and one-liners (which would directly contradict this blog's existence, I know).

Or maybe I don’t over-dominate conversations. Maybe my ability to excel in social situations is not due to me browbeating other people into social submission, but rather due to me just excelling in social situations.

I haven’t really figured it all out yet.

What was that clicking on the phone?

Yeah, we're getting a little closer to "Big Brother" here.


(Although, I gotta say, I’ve never put much stock in the idea that terrorists want to kill Americans because we have freedom of speech, press, to bear arms, religion, or judged by a jury of our peers. This is because I think someone on the other side of world who’s just trying to make it day by day couldn’t care less about what political concepts make Americans’ lives more free.

I mean, do they want to kill us because they’re jealous that we can peacefully assemble?

No, they want to kill us because our government has a long history of getting involved in, and manipulating, foreign nations’ political and social climates, including—but not limited to—surreptitiously supporting coups. That, and our presence and influence in the Arab world (not to mention our support of Israel) are seen as an affront to Islam and to Arabs controlling their own part of the world. Not saying that any of that warrants terrorist activity, just saying that's why terrorist hate us, not our freedoms.

Wow, didn't expect to go on that tirade...)

Ring Finger

As I've gotten older, I've noticed some new interest have entered my world.

I now care about 401(k)s and IRAs. Getting good medical coverage rocks my world. I watch CNN like it's my religion, and I see MTV as a stinking pile of crap that destroys your mind and sense of what is good and evil.

I realize that by renting an apartment instead of living in a townhouse, I'm essentially throwing my money away every month. I have become inquisitive about where to purchase the best furniture for the best price (which has lead me to bemoan that's there's no IKEA closer than four hours away, and forced me to accept that Target may not actually be the best place in world).

Furthermore, everyday I'm more and more upset about how much the state and federal government waste my tax money. (WHY am I still paying for Social Security?)

Well, today, I realized that I have achieved another rite of passage into adulthood. Twice today, I found myself looking at an attractive male's ring finger to see if he is married. TWICE. I knew people did such things, but geez. Is it possible that guys my age are more likely to be married than gay? (um, yeah, rhetorical question, I know the answer.)

Is it possible? Am I getting old?

What's next? Will I be impatient to receive AARP benefits? Will I start watching C-Span? Will I call the 16 year old speeding by in his Mustang a "young whipper-snapper?" Will I go on a harangue about when I had to walk to school, up hill, both ways, in the snow? Will I wax nostalgic for the days when gas cost less than a dollar a gallon?

Oh wait, I already do the last one…crap.

Life in Flux

I officially declared early May, “Life in Flux;” when life will be turned upside-down, shaken, tossed around, and then wait around for me to put it upright. There are three reasons for the life in flux:

1. THE NEW JOB:
Yes, once again I have a new job. The mentoring thing didn’t work, mainly because the money was inconsistent (I only got paid for when I physically interacted with a client), so I did the job search once again and hit pay dirt. I will be working for Biogen Idec, doing over the phone customer support for clients taking Biogen’s Multiple Sclerosis medication.

Trust me, the job is awesome: not only do I get to help people with a debilitating disease (something I love), but I also get medical, dental, vision, 401(k), stock options, and an unreal salary—this a real person job.

The new job also means that right now I’m one week into a six-week training for the new job, and that I won’t get a paycheck until the 19th, which may mean that I’ll have to pull out the credit card that hasn’t been used since college, just to make it until the 19th.

2. LINDLEY'S WEDDING:
This upcoming Friday I’ll be driving down to Greenville, SC for a friend’s wedding. I like weddings, and I like Lindley and Mark together, so this event would not be stressful if it weren’t for the wedding being on Saturday, me driving back to Chapel Hill on Sunday, and on Monday moving into…

3. THE NEW APARTMENT:
Indeed, the Monday after Lindley’s wedding, I’m moving into a new apartment with the current roomie Diana. In addition, I have to be completely out of the current apartment by Tuesday.

So, in the span of four days, I’m going to be in Greenville at a wedding, driving back to Chapel Hill, moving out of one apartment, and cleaning and vacating the current apartment. I’m tired just writing that.

Plus, I’m not looking forward to that transition where you have to get all the utilities switched over to a new residence—I may be without cable or the internet for a while (shudder).

My life should be back to normal by the 21st, expect more blogging around then.