You can find me in the club

I love to dance; and if you've ever seen me dance, you're unlikely to forget it. But, for those who haven't seen me dance, then let's just say that the lower half of my body moves. A lot.

And because of my love of the dance, I've been frequenting a "club" in Chapel Hill a lot lately. Well, it's actually a martini bar most days of the week, but on Sunday nights, it becomes "Stir": the closest thing to a "gay club" that Chapel Hill has to offer. So yes, on the Lord's day (or the Lord's night, I suppose) I go gallivanting to Stir, hang with my a few of my gayer friends, and have a grand ol' time.


















Now, despite Sunday being "gay night" at the Martini Bar (some call it "Gaytini"), there are relatively few gay patrons. However,when considering there are relatively few gay people in Raleigh/Durham/Chapel Hill in the first place, Stir probably gets a representative sample of the gay-to-straight ratio in Chapel Hill.

Nevertheless, somehow every Sunday, really really straight people invade the club: we're talking thuggish hoodlums, football-playing no-necks, or some other form of guys who would not be cool with "Gaytini" night. Once this uber-straight element enters the club, any guy-on-guy dancing, flirting, or simple less-than-straight acting activity comes to a screeching halt. That is, until the unwelcomed element perceives that "Martini Bar isn't quite the same tonight," and then beats a hasty retreat.

Don't get me wrong, straight people are certainly welcomed--we don't have some moratorium on heterosexuality at "Gaytini." We just want to enjoy the night without worrying about 50 Cent over there having a less-than-civil reaction to the gay going-ons.

Now, despite what you may think, the music at Stir is not all Madonna and George Michael. You've got that "Ridin Dirty" song, that "Kick it like Tai-bo" song, and other examples of the dismal state of pop music (read: anything by Fergie). But sooner or later, the music pulls itself up from the doldrums of utter crap, and starts playing some Beyoncé, Ludacris, and etc.

But last Sunday, crouched between Ciara talking about her "1,2 Step" and Kelis being "Bossy", was probably the worst club song I've ever heard. It's not a bad song per se--it definitely gets a chuckle from me every time it's played--but it's impossible to dance to.

So, while there's no moratorium on straight people at "Gaytini" night, I decree a moratorium on "Dick in a Box."

That's right, the dj played "Dick in a Box"! Why? I have no idea, but I definitely wasn't dancing to it. But never fear, Montell Jordan's "This Is How We Do It" was played soon after.


So, dear readers, when will you be heading down to Chapel Hill to experience "Gaytini" for yourselves? I'll save you a barstool, I swear.

True that

Warning: if President Bush ever says he "supports you," has "full confidence in you," or that you're "doing a great job," run for your life. Or just go ahead and resign, because you'll be losing your job in a fortnight anyway.


(On a side note, I wonder just how far this scandal will go. With Congress getting itself in a subpoena-hungry tizzy because they can't come up with anything to do with Iraq, and the White House digging its heels in for a battle it could easily avoid, there's no end in sight for this melodrama.

It's pretty pathetic, but great political comedy.)

What happened to the "Straight-talk Express"?

Once upon a time, there was a maverick who shook the political world, threatened the status quo, slayed the dragon, saved damsels in distress, and overshadowed the village idiot.

It seemed that, because of this maverick, everyone was going to live happily ever after. Except that the maverick lost the election, and he spent the next 6 years quietly waiting for his time to take the throne.

Well, apparently during those 6 years, he also learned how to double-talk, pander to the right, and generally become a feckless shadow of his former self.

I present to you, dear readers, the erstwhile "maverick," John McCain:

Reporter: “Should U.S. taxpayer money go to places like Africa to fund contraception to prevent AIDS?”

Mr. McCain: “Well I think it’s a combination. The guy I really respect on this is Dr. Coburn. He believes – and I was just reading the thing he wrote– that you should do what you can to encourage abstinence where there is going to be sexual activity. Where that doesn’t succeed, than he thinks that we should employ contraceptives as well. But I agree with him that the first priority is on abstinence. I look to people like Dr. Coburn. I’m not very wise on it.”

(Mr. McCain turns to take a question on Iraq, but a moment later looks back to the reporter who asked him about AIDS.)

Mr. McCain: “I haven’t thought about it. Before I give you an answer, let me think about. Let me think about it a little bit because I never got a question about it before. I don’t know if I would use taxpayers’ money for it.”

Q: “What about grants for sex education in the United States? Should they include instructions about using contraceptives? Or should it be Bush’s policy, which is just abstinence?”

Mr. McCain: (Long pause) “Ahhh. I think I support the president’s policy.”

Q: “So no contraception, no counseling on contraception. Just abstinence. Do you think contraceptives help stop the spread of HIV?”

Mr. McCain: (Long pause) “You’ve stumped me.”

Q: “I mean, I think you’d probably agree it probably does help stop it?”

Mr. McCain: (Laughs) “Are we on the Straight Talk express? I’m not informed enough on it. Let me find out. You know, I’m sure I’ve taken a position on it on the past. I have to find out what my position was. Brian, would you find out what my position is on contraception – I’m sure I’m opposed to government spending on it, I’m sure I support the president’s policies on it.”

Q: “But you would agree that condoms do stop the spread of sexually transmitted diseases. Would you say: ‘No, we’re not going to distribute them,’ knowing that?”

Mr. McCain: (Twelve-second pause) “Get me Coburn’s thing, ask Weaver to get me Coburn’s paper that he just gave me in the last couple of days. I’ve never gotten into these issues before.”

Um, what? "I look to people like Dr. Coburn. I’m not very wise on it," "I think I support the president’s policy," "I’m sure I’ve taken a position on it on the past. I have to find out what my position was."

WHAT. THE. HELL? McCain, what happen to you? You shouldn't have to find out what your position is, you should just inherently know it. Geez.

Who body-snatched John McCain, because I definitely voted for a different man back in 2000?

And so it begins...

Praise be to God.

BREAKING NEWS

The Associated Press has some of the MOST shocking news ever:

"The FBI improperly and, in some cases, illegally used the USA Patriot Act to secretly obtain personal information about people in the United States."

Wow, really? No one would have ever expected that!

Excuse me while I rant

If you say that you want to hang out, and I call you on the pre-arranged day, leave you a voice message, and later call you again, there's a certain next step that you must take. RETURN THE PHONE CALL! Get it? Follow-through with our plans; don't fall off the face of the Earth.

If you claim that I am one of the most important people in your life, yet you haven't responded to a voice mail or a text message in five months because your ''life is too busy'', I've gotta believe that you just don't care enough. If you can't take 10 minuets out of your oh-so-busy life of working at a freakin' Verizon store, why the hell do I still try to maintain our friendship?


People, I thought there was an unwritten rulebook of phone etiquette, but apparently not. However, what is apparent is that I am the only one left with manners in this world.

Maybe I should stop. Maybe I should no longer be the person who tries to get in contact--and stay in contact--with people when they're not pulling their own weight. Maybe, if they don't have time for me, then I won't have time for them. Maybe I should just cut them out of my life and be done with it.

But why must it come to that? All that I'm asking for is reciprocation; reciprocation of a freaking phone call!

RECIPROCATION! Is that too much to ask?


Maybe I'm just too good for this world...