Why's life gotta get in the way of living?

You know that adage, “if it’s not one thing, it’s another?” Well, I’ve come to appreciate that statement. Let me start at the beginning.

A month after I moved to Chapel Hill, I felt that I was settled enough with work and living arrangements to start studying the GRE. If you don't know, the GRE is an entrance exam for graduate school—it’s akin to the LSAT for law school and the MCAT for med school.

I figured I’d study for about a month and take the test at the beginning of November. Well, I soon found an obstacle thwarting my goals—money. The GRE cost $115. Granted, I could have easily had that much money, if it weren’t for that pesky car payment; but if I didn’t have that pesky car payment, I’d be walking everywhere, so…

My only choice was to try and save money while continuing to study for the GRE. I figured working 35 hours a week at $13.50 an hour; I’d have the money in no time. To my dismay, North Carolina had other plans. Friends, N.C. taxes the hell out of you, consider yourself warned. (And don’t even get me started on how I’m still paying for social security when it’s clear that the money won’t be there when I get old).

Skip ahead a few months, and I finally have enough money to take this damn test. Woohoo, GRE, I come! Wait, no, not so fast. It’s January, and my contract job is scheduled to end at the end of February (I knew it would end in February before I moved, so I can’t be mad). Thus, I started another dreaded job search. Meanwhile, the contract job got an extension, so it looked like I could count on it to last until April--sweet. However, it seemed wise to continue the job search in order to transition from one job to another smoothly.

The job search came to an end two weeks ago when I got a part-time job at Triumph, a community-based treatment service for people afflicted with behavioral, emotional, and mental difficulties. I figured I could work both jobs, and when the contract job ended, I could find an inconsequential retail position (read: not dealing with the seriousness of people’s lives).

So finally, with enough money in my checking account, and no concerns about finding a job, it was looking like the GRE was within my grasps.

Then, Friday came. The boss at the contract job said that because data had been trickling in from the field (long story, don’t ask), we were now only allowed to work 20-25 hours a week. And while not explicitly said, this also meant that the job would be lucky to last until early March. Looks like I'll be hunting for that inconsequential retail position sooner than expected.

So, here it is, mid-February, and I still haven’t taken the damn test. In fact, because job hunting is a part-time job itself, the amount of time that I can dedicate to studying has dropped significantly. Thus, I’ve probably forgotten whatever math I learned back in October (btw, I hate math with a fiery fiery passion that knows no bounds, if you didn’t know).

All of this aggravation has resulted in a very difficult realization: I’m probably not going to grad school this fall. Even if I found a job, and took the GRE by mid-March, I’d have to scramble to get applications turned in, and pay the applications fees (or see about getting them waved), travel for interviews on the campuses, etc. All of that seems pretty much impossible when I have car taxes due soon, and I have to think about buying a mattress, other furniture, and finding a new place when my current lease expires in May. That would be just too much happening all at once.

Friends, I have this wonderful, altruistic goal of counseling people afflicted with mental illness, but Life is thwarting me at every turn from taking the first steps towards that goal. I’m exacerbated, but I gotta keep on keeping on.

(At least my poll numbers aren’t at 39%, so that’s something for which to be thankful. I mean, with everything that's been happening lately, I almost feel sorry for the guy. Almost.)