Why I won't be voting

Since 1776, my countrymen have fought and died so that I may live in the bastion of freedom and liberty. Plus, since Reconstruction, the African-American community has been engaged in the struggle for equal voting rights, which was won only in the past few decades.

I’m sure there are probably several other good reasons why I should vote on Tuesday, but nevertheless, I won't be voting.

I know you’re shocked. Warren, the guy who keeps up with national politics and routinely expresses his socially liberal viewpoint, isn’t going to vote on Election Day? How can this be?

Well, for one reason, in my district’s U.S. House race, incumbent David Price is all but assured to hold his seat against Republican challenger Steve Acuff. This is because (according to the News & Observer ) my district “leans heavily to the left…[where] registered Democrats make up 47 percent of the electorate, outnumbering Republicans at 31 percent.” The fact of the matter is, the North Carolina 4th District is just not in play; the Democrats aren’t going to lose it, and the Republicans haven’t fought to gain it.

I suppose I could vote for—or against—current District Attorney Mike Nifong (of Duke Lacrosse infamy)…but, eh. I mean, I know the people of Durham don’t like him because of the way he handled the scandal, but due to my general ennui about that mess, I don’t know why people don’t like him. Furthermore, Nifong’s official challenger, Lewis Cheek, says he won’t serve if elected (at which time, the governor will just pick someone to be the District Attorney until 2008), while the other challenger, Steve Monks, is the write-in candidate. So, my choices are: the guy who no one likes, the guy who won’t serve if he wins, and the guy who was too slack-ass to get his name on the ballot in time. Great.

Besides the aforementioned U.S. House and the District Attorney elections, every other race here is a single Democrat running unopposed, a race where no one is running at all, or a race for justices/judges. What the hell? I can’t even vote for a gay marriage amendment, school bond referendum, or even to change the state flower?

I suppose I could muster an opinion on the court races, but that would mean that I'd need to examine every candidate's stance on whaterver issues justices and judges stand for (which is probably just "justice" anyway). Yeah, sign me up.

In the end, I guess I should be happy that I reside in a “left-leaning” community, no matter how aberrant it is in the “red-state” of North Carolina. But, unless any of you can come up with a good reason why I should wake up early and stand in a line to vote, I’ll probably go for a run instead.

But you betta believe I’ll be watching CNN and MSNBC on Tuesday night!