1st Obstacle Down

First off, much love to Mary W., for introducing me to a great little pizza place and gracing me with her presence tonight. Hope we didn’t talk about the healing farm too much.

So, I’ve told some of you that my apartment mate, Diana, is a manager of kid shoes at Nordstrom at the mall (for those who don't know, Nordstrom is an upscale department store. Think Belk's with a piano player). Well, she told me about her friend Patrick, a fellow Nordstrom employee who works in the young men’s section.

You see, Patrick is gay. Yeah, you heard me, gay. Remember that whole “wide range of possible outcomes” thing mentioned in the “Lime-green Lacoste polo” post; well, the range of possible outcomes is lessened when you know he’s gay beforehand. In other words, once you actually know your person of interest is gay, the first obstacle is down (and what an obstacle it is), and you’re left with the typical, “do they like me” concerns.

And that’s where I stood as I visited Diana at work early last week. I walked by the young men’s section (it’s called “The Rail” at Nordstrom, because they’re hip and upscale like that, ha), and spotted an attractive young man who I thought could be gay. And indeed, after finding and talking to Diana, I determined that this guy was Patrick (yay, I called it; “go go gadget gaydar!”).

You may also remember from the last post that I have a substantial lack of “game,” so my basic response was to go over “The Rail” and look at clothes, get Patrick to ask me if I need any help, blah blah blah fishcakes, introduce myself as Diana’s apartment mate, and strike up conversation. I hate to tell you, but my normal conversation skills fell apart, reducing me to pretty much criticizing Patrick for paying $200+ for designer jeans and complaining that I can’t afford anything in “The Rail.” Not the kinda of first meeting that you tell grandkids about, but hell, I CAN’T afford “The Rail.” $78 for a polo is just not in my budget. Oh, wait, I did buy some sweet sunglasses for $10 that can also serve as part of my Jay-Z Halloween costume, so that’s something.

But I digress. I left Nordstrom, went home, and decided that I was going to ask Diana to ask Patrick what he thought of me. And then I remember that I’m not in high school and should grow a pair. Thus, I changed my plans and decided that I would go to Nordstrom when Patrick was working and strike up another conversation with perhaps a dinner invite. I felt a little stalker-ish the next day as I asked a Rail employee when Patrick was going to be working next, but you gotta do what you gotta do.

I walked into the store on an afternoon that I knew Patrick would be there, saw him, and made my move to…the belts. I mean, I couldn’t seem too obvious, plus, they were Kenneth Cole brown/black reversibles for $25. Anyway, I got Patrick’s attention, made small talk, found out he’s a full time sociology major at UNC, and full time employee at Nordstrom. We had a quick banter about which was the truer science: psychology or sociology (psych so wins, btw), and then I asked if we could hang out sometime. He again mentioned the time constraints of school and work and then he mentioned that he doesn’t really have a cell phone—and neither do his roommates—so the best way to contact him was to call Nordstrom and leave a message for him, because he checks it often. Then Patrick gives me his card with the direct line to The Rail's phone.

Now, I don’t know if this was a convoluted brush off or a serious explanation of his current life situation—both are possible—but the fact is I basically don’t have an answer to that “does he like me” question. I will call Patrick, and I’ll let you know how it goes.

And there ends the three part series on “Warren stepping up to the plate.” Any questions, comments, suggestions?