Was he flirting?

Yesterday, I went to a Christmas party in an apartment upstairs. I had previously met one of the roommates in the apartment complex gym a while ago, but I had not met his other two roommates yet.

So yeah, a party of about 30 people, and I only knew one of them. It was a little awkward, but it was also a lot of fun.

At the party, Ryan, the guy I knew, introduced me to Sam. Now, while I talked to plenty of people at the party, Sam and I talked a lot. To be more precise, Sam seemed to engage me in conversation. He knew few people at the party also, but he was too sociable and friendly for me to imagine that he was avoiding the social awkwardness of meeting a mass of new people. I just couldn’t see him being nervous talking to anyone else there.

So, I’d say 85% of the conversations I had that night were with Sam one-on-one. Our conversations were full of quick banter and jokes—really good stuff.

As the night progressed, I thought, “Wait, is he flirting?” I couldn’t figure it out, and I had no safe way to flirt with him beyond maintaining the conversations. Since I have not come out to Ryan (the guy who invited me to the party), or Ryan’s two roommates (who knew Sam), I could not ask them if Sam is gay. Coming out to someone you just met in order to ask them to give you dirt on guy you think is cute is not exactly kosher. And I couldn’t ask Sam for his number, because if he is straight, that would just be incredibly awkward and uncomfortable for both of us.

So, I’m left with not knowing if he’s gay or straight, or if he was flirting or what. I’m probably making a bigger deal out of this than it is, and more than likely, he is straight, because that’s just the way my life works (btw, grrrr). Nevertheless, since, Sam, Ryan, and a lot of the people that I met that night go to the same church in Durham, hopefully I’ll see Sam in the near future. Then, maybe I can get a better sense of what the hell is going on.

Oh the trials and tribulations of the gay man’s life.