Church

Boy, my Duke University Divinity School friends are weird! I mean, they study obscure Biblical passages, have a more than a pedestrian understanding of Christian dogma (according to some, the Holy Spirit is a person…yeah, I don’t know either), make jokes about Martin Luther and Methodism, and have rants about the state the Christian Church.

However, the weirdest (and coolest) thing about having Divinity school friends is that they give sermons. Yeah, seeing the guy you hung out with on Saturday night stand at the pulpit on Sunday morning and led an entire congregation in worship is kinda mind-blowing.

So, a couple of Sundays ago, I went to a Sunday service at the church where my friend Chris works. And as expected, Chris stood at the pulpit, read from “the word of the Lord,” helped prepare the bread and wine for the Eucharist, and did other associate-pastoral duties.

However, what was more interesting than my buddy Chris being all pastoral-like was the congregation of the church. It was small.

Really small. I’m talking 12-16 people in the church, including me, the pastor, Chris, and his girlfriend Kelly.

Thus, during the announcements and prayer requests, I saw the hidden magic of a small congregation—it was less like a collection of worshippers and more like tight-knit community. When referring to church members who were not present, the congregation simply used first names; and there was no need to fully explain the members’ situation, everyone already knew what was going on. There was even a touching moment when the congregation expressed joy that one of the member’s health had improved to the point that he could attend service again. Members would also talk out of turn, sometimes interrupting the pastor mid-sentence—but no one cared, not even the pastor.

The congregation reminded me of what the early Church must have been like—or was supposed to be like.

This church (North Chapel Hill Baptist Church), was more than the current monolithic impersonal mega-churches, more than the hip new church with the snazzy commercial and rock concert-ish service, more to than the church going through a schism because the church elders don’t like tambourines, and more than any “Christian” church that rejects and rebukes potential members based on the most superficial and skin-deep criteria (Catholic Church and your stance on homosexuality, I’m looking at you); North Chapel Hill Baptist Church gets it.

So why didn’t I sign up? Why am I not a member of NCHBC? It’s so sad to say, but I need people my own age at a church. At this particular service, NCHBC had 3 kids of high school age, me and my two mid-20s friends, then a sudden jump to the 50’s and on up. And we’re talking up.

But at least I’ve seen what a church is supposed to be like, what a church can be like, and what I’ll be looking for in the future.

Sometimes, political cartoons just say it better than I can.

Former Rep. Mark Foley's name being removed from his former plaque outside his former office

word.

(and if you have no idea who Mark Foley is, shame on you. Go here.)

Nevermind, I don't want my MTV

Normally, when I work out in the morning, I’m by myself in the apartment complex’s gym, so I get to put the TV on whatever I want; and I want my ESPN. Why? Well, because it's a good partner in my pursuit of buff-ness, it increases the general testosterone level in the place, and because Sportscenter is awesome.

Yet, tragedy struck yesterday morning when I walked into the gym to find that some other guy already had the TV on MTV.

Now, usually, it’s safe to assume that any member of the male species would never object to watching Sportscenter; but since he didn’t indicate if it was ok to change the channel, I didn’t bring the issue up. I just got on the elliptical machine (or the “EFX” as us Furman kids called it), turned on my MP3 player, and, um, "ellipticaled."

Please note that besides a spattering of semi, quasi, sneakily-edited, “reality” shows, I have no reason to watch MTV. Well, boy did I get a glimpse into what the ‘M’ in MTV is like these days…TRL was on, and HOORAY, it was “Spankin’ Free Music Week”!

Oh, sorry, that “hooray” was supposed to read “yawn.” I mean, we still pay the cable bill that gives us MTV, so when is the music ever “free"?

Anyway, seeing as the TV is right in front of the elliptical machine, I was pretty much forced to watch MTV for 30 minutes (luckily, my MP3 player meant I didn't have to listen). So, seeing as it's been a while since I've seen TRL, here’s what I noticed:

1. John Norris believes if he's botoxed and mystic-tanned enough, we'll forget he's 80. Seriously, this man is still working for MTV News? I’m pretty sure he was there when I was in middle school. Since then, MTV personalities like Bill Bellamy, Tabitha Soren, Kennedy, Carson Daly, Ananda Lewis, Alison Stewart, Chris Connelly, and Matt Pinfield, have come and gone.

Oh John Norris, you’re so sad. And what’s sadder is that I can safely assume that Kurt Loder is still with the network. Guys; leave; no one thinks of MTV as being a worthwhile news source. And if you are going to stay, try not to pretend that you’re still young and hip. Really now, even Anderson Cooper let the grey grow out.

2. It seems that being on a quasi-reality show qualifies Stephen from Laguna Beach to be a VJ. I beg to differ; all he’s qualified to do is smoke pot, say “that’s weak,” and…hmm, yeah, that’s about it.

3. There are more skanky-dressed girls singing really bad music than ever before. From Danity Kane to Rihanna, I’m not impressed. And, I mean, "Cassie," who the hell is that?

Where's Jill Scott? Where's Sheryl Crow? Hell, I'd even settle for Toni Braxton right about now.

4. Sean Combs still thinks he's cool.

5. The Game seems to think that if he throws around the "West Side" hand symbol, and walks around an LA neighborhood shirt-less and tattoo-ed up, we will think he's Tupac.

6. Nelly Furtado's songs are now a study in the art of dissonance. Why must the verse’s melody be so utterly incongruent with the chorus’ melody? Plus, the beat does a periodic yet sudden 180 degree turn, making the songs impossible to dance to. Even Justin Timberlake's Sexyback engages in this musical mystery. I just don’t get it, but I blame Justin's and Nelly's musical producer, Timbaland (you know he hasn't been the same since baby girl died).

7. TRL is still incapable, or unwilling, to show a music video in its entirety. Idiots. (But at least they got rid of interrupting the videos with the classic, "This is Joe from Atlanta, and I want to say hi to my dog Buster. Oh, and I really like Ashanti, WOOOOOOOOOO!!")

Now, don’t even get me starting on VH1; do they even know what a music video is anymore? Well, at least Best Week Ever is funny.

(Untitled)

Squeak!!!

So, around the beginning of the summer, my car’s brakes started to squeak. Not all the time mind you, just the first few times I would apply the breaks after starting the car. This was especially true in the morning, after the car had been parked all night.

Now, I wasn’t too worried about this because:
1) the brakes didn’t squeak all the time
2) the car is less than three years old, there’s no way the brake pads are gone by now.

But finally I got so annoyed by the “squeaky squeak squuuueeak” (and figured that I should ensure that, indeed, my brake pads still existed), that I took the good ol’ Ford Focus to the mechanic.

The minute I started to explain my situation to the guy behind the counter, he began to proactively predict what I was going to say next. Behind-the-counter-guy then looked over at his co-worker (I’ll call him Bob), and said, “Hey Bob, go see if it’s the typical problem with the Focus, or something different.”

It was then that they explained the situation: apparently, in an effort to help the brakes last longer (thereby saving the thrifty Focus purchasers money) Ford removed the asbestos from the Ford Focus’ brake pads.

Did anyone know that asbestos was in brakes pads? I sure didn’t. All I knew about asbestos was that it was some chemical that was used in the ceilings of buildings built in the 1970s, and had to be removed in the 1990s because we realized that it was poisonous. That, and sometimes the local news will entice you to watch the 11pm broadcast with the classic teaser: “Asbestos outbreak at local middle school, could it be yours?!? Protect yourself! Go buy bottled water! Run! Now! But be back by 11, ‘cuz we’ll also have a story about the cute dog show.”

Anyway, Bob and I got out to the car, and he confirms that my “squeaky squeak squuuueeak” problem is the typical Ford-Focus-sans-the-asbestos, dilemma. He also says that he wouldn’t feel right about replacing my brake pads, because this problem would just resurface later on down the line.

While I appreciate Ford trying to save me money, who the hell wants long-lasting squeaky brakes?!

So, there I sat, powerless in my squeaky car. You should know that I’m not worried that my brake pads may wear down to nothing without me knowing it, because each oil change/tire rotation at a Ford dealership comes with a free multi-point inspection. Nor I am worried that this mechanic was giving me mis-information, because if they wanted to swindle me, they wouldn’t have let me drive off with all my money.

Now, I haven’t been able to find anything on the internet to officially corroborate the mechanics asbestos claim (except maybe this), which sort of makes me want a second opinion. But, nevertheless, the squeakiness is really starting to grate my nerves. Every time I come to stop, I tense up in preparation, I worry about how loud the squeak will be, and I’m cognizant of people around me who will turn to see who just scratched nails on a chalkboard.

Plus, a squeaky Ford Focus communicates one of two things: either I don’t know how to take care of my car, or my car is cheaply made. I’m not a fan of either image.

So, this whole mess also makes me think of doing something kinda crazy, but possibly awesome—get the car I wanted in the first place:











The Toyota Matrix.

As you can tell, I like hatchbacks. But, considering the transitory nature of 20-somethings, I really like the matrix because it can do this:































Drool.

Of course, it’s not the sexiest hatchback ever. That’d be the Mazda 3. But I digress.

So, I’m currently contemplating if I should trade-in the squeaky car (that I was relegated to own per credit approval, mind you) and get the Toyota Matrix, and maybe be happier with my means of conveyance. On the other hand, perhaps I should be happy that I have a car at all and just make sure to take really good car of it, squeaks and all.

There’s also the issue that I have no idea how to go about selling a car, getting a good price, and turning around and buying a car from a separate car company. But, with Ford going down the tubes, and fast, I’m thinking about my options more and more.

What if September 11th never happen?

Recently, the New York Times asked reporters, bloggers, columnist, politicos, and other worldly people to write on “If 9/11 never happened.” That got me thinking:
...

Michael Moore would be little more than an answer on Trivial Pursuit.

24, a television show about a man working for the fictional “Counter Terrorist Unit,” may not have been as popular.

We would not have spent so much time wondering if Rudy Giuliani will run for president.

The opening credits of Sex and the City and Law and Order: Criminal Intent would not have been re-edited to remove all shots of the Twin Towers.

$2.99 plastic American flags that attach to your car would not have been so annoyingly ubiquitous. (Really, I never got the point of that. Is the terrorist on the other side of the globe going to get nervous because the guy in the F-150 and soccer mom in the 4Runner love America and aren’t afraid to show it?)

The search for Chandra Levy, the suspicion of Rep. Gary Condit’s possible involvement, and the media’s fascination with the story would have continued to transfix America's attention…at least for a little while longer.

Most Americans would still be woefully unaware of who Osama Bin Laden is.

“Let’s roll,” “Slam dunk” and “quagmire” would be less meaningful.

Joseph C. Wilson would have never refuted the Administration’s reasoning for the Iraq war. In a reaction to Wilson’s argument, columnist Robert Novak would not have revealed Wilson’s wife, Valerie Plame, as an undercover C.I.A. As such, there would have been no investigation to identify Novak’s source; and Scooter Libby would still be the Vice-president’s Chief of Staff.

Joe Lieberman, one of the Democrats biggest and more vocal supporters for the Iraq war, probably would not have lost his recent re-election campaign.

Colin Powell’s national and international reputation as a trust-worthy and reliable man would remain untarnished.

Canada and Australia would not have recently elected more conservative leaders than the leaders that preceded them.

"The Dubai Port deal"—with its proposed control of US ports by an Arab nation—would have been approved with nary a whisper of opposition from Capital Hill.

The term “Axis of Evil” would not have been born.

There would be no Department of Homeland Security, Patriot Act, NSA wiretapping program, or color-coded scale of the terror threat.

Halliburton (without the contracts to rebuild Iraq) would not be as widely known, and its connection to the Vice President would be trivial.

Saddam would still be in power.

Iraq would not have a democratically elected government.

Iraq would not be besieged by insurgents, Al Qaeda, daily road bombs, beheadings, and mosque bombings.

The Taliban would still control Afghanistan.

Afghanistan (sans Kabul) would not currently be overrun by Taliban sympathizers, murderers, rampant opium growers and other persons hell-bent on disrupting order and change.

Without the restriciton of further military action placed on the US military due to Iraq and Afghanistan, either Iran or North Korea may have been dealt with via military force (and whichever one of those nations who wasn’t dealt with, would run back to its non-nuclear yesteryear with its tail between its legs).

The Bush presidency would have been remembered for No Child Left Behind, the Medicare overhaul, not signing the Kyoto Protocol, and would be a case study in how to win without the majority…until Hurricane Katrina.

Katrina would have been the defining moment of the Bush’s presidency. That would have provided the image of George W. Bush standing atop rubble saying “we shall overcome, we shall rebuild, we are Americans.”

George W. Bush may not have won a second term. Pre-9/11, President Bush was the whipping boy for a media intent on making him seem bewildered by his surroundings. Every picture of him seemed to convey a deer caught in headlights; seemed to communicate a man way over his head. There were many Americans who agreed with that view. But after 9/11, Bush became a “war-on-two-fronts” president; he was a president seeped in the atmosphere of 9/11, he had the entire nation behind him—he really was “the uniter, not the divider.” Yet, in the 2004 election, he got 51% of the vote. If 49% of the nation wanted to “change horses” in a post-9/11 America, how many would have been content to “change horses” without the terrorist attacks?

Excluding the 19 hijackers, 2,973 people would not have collectively and simultaneously lost their lives on September 11th (fyi, the above numbers, and ones I’m going to list below, are from Wikipedia.com; however, I’ve made a conscience decision to not hyperlink anywhere in this post).

Due to the Afghanistan war: 475 coalition forces, ~200 Northern Alliance forces, ~950 Pakistan military officers, ~1,100 Afghan security forces, and 3,485 Afghani civilians would not be dead. 6,273 Afghani civilians and 894 American military would not have been injured or wounded.

Due to the Iraq war: 2,885 coalition forces, 3,313 civilian citizens of coalition nations (included 428 contractors), 6,167 (Post-Saddam) Iraqi Security forces, and more than 50,000 Iraqi civilians would not be dead. 24,086 coalition forces would not have been wounded in action.

In sum, around 71,548 people would not have lost their lives from a direct, or indirect, result of the September 11th attacks (that number excludes the deaths of Taliban personal, Saddam forces, 9/11 hijackers, Iraqi insurgents, and other coconspirators).

The average American, even in the face of terrorist attacks in other Westernized nations (e.g. Britain, Spain, Jordan, etc), would be more-or-less unconcerned with Islamic extremist and their hatred towards the Western world. This lack of concern would last until a terrorist act as covertly planned, being executed with similar sufficiency, and having just as much shock-value and death toll as 9/11, would have been carried out on American soil. If, without a 9/11, America didn’t sit up and take notice of the going-ons of Arab world, some other act of terrorism (perhaps causing greater horror than 9/11) would have snapped us out of our reverie.

And finally, if September 11th never happen, the lyrics to Don Henley’s (of The Eagles) 1989 song “New York Minute” would not be so poignant:

Lying here in the darkness
I hear the sirens wail
Somebody going to emergency
Somebody’s going to jail
If you find somebody to love in this world
You better hand on tooth and nail
The wolf is always at the door

In a New York minute
Everything can change
In a New York minute
Things can get a little strange
In a New York minute
Everything can change
In a New York minute

And in these days
When darkness falls early
And people rush home
To the ones they love
You better take a fool’s advice
And take care of your own
One day they’re here;
Next day they’re gone.

Freedom Tower gets some company

We already knew of the Freedom Tower, but today we got a fuller idea of what will take residence at Ground Zero:



How gorgeous; how awe-inspiring.


And even while I feel it's a little out of place in the rectangular, utilitarian NY skyline…




...I’ll get over it.

What a powerful statement in the form of glass and metal: 20th century citadels are standing guard while four phoenixes rise from the ashes of unspeakable horror to illuminate the 21st century with hope, progress, and humanity's newest attempt to be who we are trying to be.


I approve.

bringing sexy back

Oh my.

First off, apologies to any readers who do not have a predilection for the male form, but HOT DAMN; the man is the embodiment of "bringing sexy back." And he knows a thing or two about sexy.

The Dumbing-down of Warren

I was just in the presence of an intellectual discussion that ranged from: “trickle-down economics,” the true meaning of the word “politics,” does voting equal “big P” politics, a Christian’s role in the current political and social world, the need (or lack thereof) for welfare…

Well, you get the point; there was a myriad of topics being discussed. And why did I say that I was “in the presence of” and not “participating in” this rousing discussion? Because, while I had a fairly good grasp on almost everything that was being discussed, my familiarity with the intricacies of the aforementioned topics was rough, not to mention I was hampered by the sluggish speed at which I was able to contemplate or formulate my opinions.

Thus, I’ve determined that I have spent too much time outside institutions of learning; too much time not learning or thinking critically.

So, what to do? Well, I either need to get my butt back in school, or read more. Sadly, neither of those looks like it’s going to happen anytime soon. I’m damned by my too-good-to-be-true yet 40-hour-a-week job, coupled with my perpetual laziness in even starting to study for the GRE again.

(Seriously, I’ve been reading The Good Earth for two months now; who does that?)

Funny, or offensive?

note: a "cox" is the guy/gal yelling "row, row faster" at the front of a competitive row boat.

Angel: Did [you] know that Stephen Hawking used to be a cox for Oxford?!
Me: um, was his talking wheelchair water-proof?


Angel thought it was funny, but it can be seen as a mighty offensive comment against the handicapped. But, I mean, seriously, the man is an talking wheelchair, and his monotone computer voice couldn't galvanize anyone. How the hell was he a cox?

And Nick, if you make one comment about me talking about "cox," I will internationally smack the back of your head.

Pluto is so weak

Yeah, so Pluto is a planet no more. I'm pretty indifferent to this change, except that because of the decision, NASA give us one of the most awesome things I've ever seen:



So cool.

And check out that tiny-ness we call Earth. I mean, Jupiter makes us look like a pebble.

(if you want to see a bigger version of the picture, here's the link to NASA.)

Laguna Beach, what happen?

Dear MTV,

I hate you. You get me addicted to watching an assortment of spoiled rich kids frolic, gossip, backstab, cheat, and otherwise meander through life, all while muttering the words “drama,” "dunzo," and “random” under the California sun.

You left me mystified by—yet hooked on watching—the Laguna style of going on a date, which amounts to little more than talking on one’s cell phone while your date pretends not to notice, sipping your water through a black straw, then suddenly saying, ‘’want to leave?’’ MTV, you had me wondering who in the world always goes to a restaurant, café, coffee shop, or friend’s kitchen to talk about the days’ events, yet I loved every time the kids got together to talk about the day’s events.

I was engrossed in spring breaks in Cabo, ski trips to wherever the hell the kids went, proms with overpriced giant-hole-over-the-midriff dresses , girls wearing jean skirts to special events, and model queens who moved to Laguna just to be on the show. Why, I even cared about the sidekicks; you know, like Alex H. or "Stephen's friend" Dieter.

I loved how your camaras were quickly on someone as they got a phone call. You wanted me to think that the cameraman was filming Lo as she sunbathed, and luckily caught the moment that LC called about the par-tay. Please, I know you filmed that scene 5 times, but I didn't care. And speaking of parties, I always laughed a little when the kids would take drinks from red dixie cups...what, did you really want me to think they were drinking water? Yeah, Alex M. and Jessica had thier blow-out verbal tougne-lashing fight because they were drunk off of the H2O.

And despite knowing all of it's faults, despite knowing that I really shouldn’t care about this mind-numbing drivel you created, dammit, I did care. And I really have no idea why I cared. I guess you just have that magic MTV.

But after you get me hooked, you give me the sugar-laced crack otherwise known as season 3. Season 3 is horrid; it’s the same formula, only with a pinch of pure torture. The girls are just plain mean, plus being over-mascaraed and over-taned. Plus, the guys are clueless and the boring protagonist has a voice that makes my eardrums bleed. And I want to smack the kids' parents for naming thier offspring "Kyndra", "Cami", and "Raquel".

The addiction may be over. Why did you do this? You're pure evil, MTV; evil.

With much hatred,

Warren not “G”


(oh, and readers, if you even think of chastising me for posting about “Laguna Beach,” save it; I’m quite aware of my dork status.)

President say what?

Transcript from the Presidential press conference, August 21, 2006:
QUESTION: What did Iraq have to do with it?
BUSH: What did Iraq have to do with what?
QUESTION: The attack on the World Trade Center.
BUSH: Nothing. Except it’s part of — and nobody has suggested in this administration that Saddam Hussein ordered the attack. Iraq was a — Iraq — the lesson of September 11th is take threats before they fully materialize, Ken. Nobody’s ever suggested that the attacks of September the 11th were ordered by Iraq.

Presidential Letter to the House and Senate, March 18, 2003:
Consistent with section 3(b) of the Authorization for Use of Military Force Against Iraq Resolution of 2002 (Public Law 107-243), and based on information available to me, including that in the enclosed document, I determine that:
…
(2) acting pursuant to the Constitution and Public Law 107-243 is consistent with the United States and other countries continuing to take the necessary actions against international terrorists and terrorist organizations, including those nations, organizations, or persons who planned, authorized, committed, or aided the terrorist attacks that occurred on September 11, 2001.
Sincerely,
GEORGE W. BUSH


Anyone else’s head about to implode from trying to understand this 180 degree reversal that amounts to a bold-faced Presidential self-contradiction? Well, when 61% of Americans now oppose the war, I doubt I’m the only one just a little bit confused.

Of course, with the one-year anniversary of Hurricane Katrina fast approaching, George W. should get in the habit of explaining missteps, mistakes, and unfulfilled promises.

Geez, sometimes he makes it too easy to be a Democrat.

Breaking News

The progress has progressed: Warren got smooches, some making out, some hot lip (and tongue) boy action. Finally.

This concludes our news break; you may now return to your regularly scheduled program, already in progress.

#37

Who, prey tell, is 37th highest ranked liberal arts school in the nation, according to the Washington Monthly? Oh, that's right, Furman! And I know, 37 isn't that high, but let's consider:

1. Furman is in Traveler's Rest, SC; the fact that we achieve any form of superior education in a state as backwards (yet lovable) as that is an achievement all by itself.

2. Washington and Lee is 39, Vassar is 42, Colby is 49, Davidson is 57 (really?), St. Lawrence is 102.

3. Seriously, who has heard of 90% of the schools below #100?

I'm not going to lie, I'm damn proud of that 37. Keep it up Furman, you may continue to make my diploma even more valuable, I don't mind.



Thanks to Aaron for giving me the heads up.

Stupid Politics

The recent legislation to increase the minimum wage has died. Why? Because the Senate Republicans attached it to a decrease in their oh-so-precious estate tax, and Senate Democrats were petty enough to kill the bill just to prevent the Republicans from having a victory right before the November elections.

And what about the minimum wage worker who couldn’t care less, one way or the other, if the rich folks are paying less taxes for their estates? Apparently, no one cares.

Stupid politics. Looks like my hopes that the Congressional Democrats may actually do something significant (you know, besides whine, complain, and forget to actually serve the American people) were premature—if not misplaced.

20 questions

So, that Mel Gibson cartoon got me thinking:

Whatever happened to the two Israeli soldiers?

Their being kidnapping sparked this melee, but has Israel demanded for the soldiers’ safe return? Has Hezbollah even admitted to having the soldiers in their custody in the first place?

Have the soldiers been killed, or are they alive?

Has the Israeli government told the soliders' families that their son/husband/father was one of the ones who was kidnapped? If so, why have no relatives entered onto the world stage to plead for the soldiers’ lives and safe return?

Are the Israeli attacks endangering the lives of the soldiers being held in Hezbollah territory?

What are the soldiers’ names?


Hmm, guess people are too busy bombing to ask. That, or something is rotten in the state of Israel....

I like editorial cartoons

this one is humorous, yet sad


















um, ditto

For your viewing pleasure, I give you "Apocalypse Pony"

Ahhh, jokes that rely on one's birth being sometime after 1981, and one's familiarity with the story of the Endtimes, are hilarious.

I'm fat? And Lance is gay.

While there have been a number of blog postings here at Missing Lunchbox in the recent past, I realize that there has been a dearth of posts about my personal life. I could just say that in light of the current world events, discussing my personal trials and tribulations would seem inappropriate. But nah, really it’s just that life has been going pretty smoothly. In the near future I may post about my “trials and tribulations” with finding a new church—once I find a new church.

But, let me tell you about this: We had a “health fair” today at work. You know, one of those things where you get all your vitals checked so you can see just how amazing it is that you’re still breathing, while having ungodly fit people tell you to stop eating cookies and go with cauliflower. Well, my blood pressure, glucose level, cholesterol, and skin health were all excellent (go me!). However, according to one of those lovely little BMI machines, I’m overweight.

OVERWEIGHT? Are you kidding me, please, look at me:

Yeah, total lard ass right there.
Geez, how do I fit through my door in the morning?

To her credit, the girl at the BMI station did warn me to take the results “with a grain of salt” as they are not always accurate. Um, ya think?


Oh, and in completely non-Warren news, Lance Bass of N*Sync fame came out of the closet today.



Congrats, Lance, on being added to the out and proud list…and for having a freaking hot boyfriend (and we're talking hott).

Funny, yet true...

HAHA


(By the way, who else is glad that Americans no longer have to pay the State Dept. $3000 to be evacuated from Lebanon?

And who else is mystified as to why we're going to wait a week to send Condoleezza to the region for some diplomacy? Looks like we’re going to wait for Israel to decimate Lebanon, kill untold number of civilians, ignore international condemnations, fracture itself from the rest of civilized world, and royally piss off the Arab community, all in the name of toppling Hezbollah, BEFORE we intervene. Sounds like a great idea, huh?)

Let's take a break with Beyoncé...

Beyonce "DeJa Vu"

Right now seems like a pretty good time to forget about the world’s troubles, sit back and enjoy the R&B siren du jour’s newest summer hit...

World Unhinged?

So, let’s review:

1.Iran is spitting in the face of geopolitical pressure by continuing it’s progression towards nuclear power. While they report to having only the purest of intentions (i.e. nuclear power plants for energy), the more likely objective of possessing WMD is as transparent as it is scary.

2.North Korea is firing rockets like it is freaking New Year’s Eve, except this event is less celebratory and more self-aggrandizing. And while these rockets spend more time falling haphazardly from the sky than they do actually working, they are certainly much better rockets than the ones North Korea didn’t have six years ago. While there is no way North Korea will be able to strike the US mainland any time soon, I’d be quite nervous if I were in South Korea or Japan right now.

3.And, good ol' Israel seems to want to bomb Lebanon into extinction. Don’t get me wrong, when two of its soldiers are kidnapped by Hezbollah, Israel has every right to respond forcefully; but Israel’s response is completely disproportionate to the crime. To put into perspective, the bombing of Beirut is reminiscent of the U.S. attack against Afghanistan, but that was in response to the September 11th attacks—that response was proportionate.

This over-the-top response is clearly not just about the two Israel soldiers; it is also about Israel not sitting idly by while its neighbors call for the death of Israel. This is about a people who believe that God chose this land for his people to settle and live, and the Israelis are not about to disobey God’s wishes. This is about a people who escaped slavery, wandered the desert, saw their temple burned (twice), spent about 1800 years in diaspora, were vilified for causing the death of Jesus, and then were systemically tortured, killed, and almost eradicated by the Nazis. I think that in the end, the bombing of Lebanon is Israel declaring that they “ain’t taking shit from anyone anymore”.

The problem is that a good chunk of the Arab world still wants to give them shit. These particular Arabs sees the presence of Israel, and all western influence in the Middle East, as an affront to Muslim sovereignty and dominion over the Middle East. But, the problem is even more basic than that: Israel is bombing Lebanon, with whom Syria and Iran are aligned. Hell, the entire region will be aligned with Lebanon if this bombing campaign continues much longer. And so here goes Israel and Hezbollah, about to plunge the Middle East into chaos unimaginable.

Can we call this a powderkeg? Sure. The perfect strom? Maybe. World War III? Well, that’d require at least two world powers facing each other from opposing sides (and I fear that an Iranian/North Korean alliance equates to one world power).

Now, can the current volatile state of the world be blamed solely on George W. Bush? Certainly not; the roots of this problem stretch back…well, centuries if you want to get technical. However, it still remains that U.S. military attention and force is bogged down in a quagmire caused by a misguided attempt to find WMD that we had no proof existed before the war, and found did not exist once we got there, while getting the added bonus of toppling a dictator whose strength and influence barely existed outside his nation’s border. The fact that we are "bogged down" presents the question: if diplomacy doesn’t work, does the U.S. have the ability to have a viable or realistic method to bring these three abovementioned situations under control?

In addition, as we all know, there a number of world issues that could benefit from the attention of the most powerful and richest nation in the world: the ozone layer is gradually become little more than an ozone screen, the US gulf coast seems to be just as unprepared for this hurricane season as it was for the last one; the starving and genocide in the Sudan continues unabated; and the might of the US military may soon be needed to bring two rouge nation-states in line while at the same time extinguishing the volatile Israeli/Lebanonese situation. However, the United States has no choice but to continue to commit itself to being the buttress holding up the wobbly Iraqi government—for an undetermined length of time I might add.

And somehow, despite the fact that the world is flirting with coming completely unhinged, I remain strangely optimistic that humanity will make it through. Perhaps this is because, from WWI to WWII, from Hiroshima to the Cuban Missile Crisis, from the Cold War to India/Pakistan, it still hasn’t happen.

Here’s hoping that our luck doesn’t run out.

In remembrance

Because I fear that we're beginning to forget...

progress

I met a guy through a friend over the weekend. This guy, who is gay, and I had fun hanging out with our mutual friend Jon, but I didn't think much of it...until this IM conversation:

[his IM name]: fyi i thought you were damn cute
[his IM name]: *blush*

Hey, it's progress, I'll take it. And although he lives in Winston-Salem NC, there was the exchanging of cell numbers, so we'll see...

When did the Democrats get a backbone?

The Democratic Party has been all but neutered since...um...John Kerry's run for president? The Republican "Contract with America"? Jimmy Carter? Lyndon B. Johnson's lack of a second-term? Yeah, that one.

But, in the past two days, two separate events have rocked this liberal's socks off:

1) (First, a little background) The Federal minimum wage has remained at $5.15 since 1998. In contrast, the US Congress has raised its salary from $136,700 to $162,100 between 1998 and 2005. That's an increase of $25,400 over seven years (or an increase of about $3,628 each year)

So, the minimum wage worker hasn't seen a pay increase in almost a decade, but the Congressperson has seen a substantial pay increase during the same time period. Now the Democrats deserve some blame for the anemic minimum wage, but who has been in control of Congress for all that time period--and the White House for most of it--the Republicans of course.

That is why I'm so proud to see that Senate Democrats want to raise the minimum wage to $7.25, while simultaneously blocking a Congressional salary increase. Is it possible that the Democratic Party, who stills holds just a minority in Congress, may actually stand up and do something substantial and worthwhile for the nation? Oh God, please say it's so.

(I’ll refrain from debating which is better: giving tax-breaks to rich and expecting the benefits to “trickle-down” to the lower-income individuals, or giving more money to the lower-income individuals, who will in turn pump money into the US retail economy. If you want to have that discussion, email me)

2) You may remember that back in March, Senator Russ Feingold introduced a resolution to censure President Bush, based on the President's controversial wiretapping program that some consider to be circumventing the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act. I must say, the concept of any politician speaking his mind by proposing legislation that will probably go nowhere, simply because that politician wholeheartedly believes that the said legislation needs to be proposed, is politically incredible. The concept of that politician being one of the current incarnations of Congressional Democrats is all but astonishing.

Well, Senator Feingold continued to be a politically rarity when, on this past Sunday NBC's "Meet the Press," he once again spoke his mind. He discussed, with veracity, honesty, intelligence, and eloquence on subjects such as the Iraq war, potential troop withdrawals, whether the war has made America safer, and defending himself against Vice-President Cheney's perennial charge that anti-Iraq sentiment boils down to "cut-and-run" and other hot-button issues.

I'll let the man speak for himself:


Russ Feingold on MTP June 25, 2006

russ feingold


While I don't agree with every word Senator Feingold said, it is clear that he's not regurgitating some pre-approved Democratic talking points; he's talking from the hip. If the Senator Feingold keeps saying what he means, and meaning what he says, I may just weep for joy.

Supporting a minimum wage increase AND Democrats speaking their mind; Democratic Party, are you revived?

Ahhh! Real Monsters!

Congrats to Nicole Kidman for marrying the (non-psycho, non-couch-jumping, non-homosexual, non-closet-case, non-Scientology drone) country crooner Keith Urban. Congrats to Keith Urban for being about the luckest man on the planet.

With that being said, forget Nancy Pelosi, Nicole Kidman's over-botoxed dad scares the ever-loving beJesus outta me. Ahhhh.

click at your own peril.

(He reminds me of that guy in "Hannibal" who was in the wheel chair and got eaten by the warthogs. Freaky.)

Yeah, right

These guys were plotting a terriorist attack against the Sears Tower?




Please, they look like rejects from the rap group Bone-Thugs-n-Harmony. And they asked for boots, uniforms, machine guns, radios, vehicles, bulletproof vests and $50,000 in cash from al Qaeda to wage their proposed jihad against the U.S. That's not a very good jihad-waging list; but wow, they would have been the most strapped guys on the block. And $50,000 can buy lots of pot, which it appears that these fellows enjoy.

Oh, and the guy they were requesting their supplies from wasn't from al Qaeda; he was from the FBI.

Terrorism should never be funny, but damn this is just hilarious. Idiots.

Nothing could be finer than to be in CAROLINA in the morning

Carolina Hurricanes: Stanley Cup Champs, 2006.
Hells Yeah!!

Fair and Balanced

In the interest of "fair and balanced" criticism:




As a democrat, it is so sad that Democratic Party may take a majority of Congress in November, not due to the party's strength and vision, but rather due the public's dissaifiaction with The Grand Ol' Party and the President.

Plus, I'm pretty scared of the current House Minority Leader, Nancy Pelosi, becoming the Majority Leader. No; seriously, her face scares me, and I don't want to see it more than I have to.

Republican Hypocrisy

From a friend’s “bulletin” on myspace:


Ronald Reagan - divorced the mother of two of his children to marry Nancy Reagan, who bore him a daughter only 7 months after the marriage.

Bob Dole - divorced the mother of his child, who had nursed him through the long recovery from his war wounds.

Newt Gingrich - divorced his wife who was dying of cancer.

Dick Armey - House Majority Leader - divorced

Sen. Phil Gramm of Texas - divorced

Gov. John Engler of Michigan - divorced

Gov. Pete Wilson of California - divorced

George Will - divorced

Sen. Lauch Faircloth - divorced

Rush Limbaugh - Rush and his current wife Marta have six marriages and four divorces between them.

Rep. Bob Barr of Georgia - Barr, not yet 50 years old, has been married three times. Barr had the audacity to author and push the "Defense of Marriage Act." The current joke making the rounds on Capitol Hill is "Bob Barr...WHICH marriage are you defending?!?

Sen. Alfonse D'Amato of New York - divorced

Sen. John Warner of Virginia - divorced (once married to Liz Taylor.)

Gov. George Allen of Virginia - divorced

Henry Kissinger - divorced

Rep. Helen Chenoweth of Idaho - divorced

Sen. John McCain of Arizonia - divorced

Rep. John Kasich of Ohio - divorced

Rep. Susan Molinari of New York - Republican National Convention Keynote Speaker - divorced


While I do not have the time to confirm the validity of all those statements, I have no reason to believe they are false; especially since I already knew about some of them. Also, I know that two of the greatest Americans to ever live—Franklin D. Roosevelt and Martin Luther King Jr.—both had affairs; if these two great Americans could stumble in their fidelity, what would prevent Bob Barr from making a career out of getting divorced?

So, it seems that the abovementioned Republicans have done a pretty good job at “threatening the sanctity of marriage” without any homosexuals involved.

Ahhhh, Republican hypocrisy never gets boring.

No 40 virgins

I'm not quite sure what meaning or message this imagery is supposed to convey. Perhaps that Abu Musab al-Zarqawi either performed or oversaw a number of ruthless beheadings and other forms of violence, and the above is his Danté's Inferno -style eternal punishment. Perhaps it is some form of Islamic imagery to which I am unfamiliar. Whatever the message, it does convey that the bastard is nowhere near those 40 virgins, and that is enough for me.


And while I wish that his death translated into a decrease--or discontinuation--of the insurgency-inspired violence in Iraq, I doubt it...

Watch out!

HA!



("Compassionate Conservative" my ass.)

What constitutes The South?

Yesterday, my new friend Ben was waxing poetic about his home state of Arkansas. Now, I’m not going lie, I didn’t think there was much to be proud of in Arkansas unless you supported Bill Clinton—or lived in Little Rock. Nevertheless, Ben taught me to appreciate the Ozarks, Razorbacks athletics, and Arkansas’ strong Southern culture.

Excuse me, Southern culture? Arkansas?

Now, I know you may find it strange that a gay black man loves the South (and trust me, I find it just as strange), but I never considered Arkansas to be part of my Dixie. But after my personal—and I’ll admit haphazard—test of Southern-ness (prevalence of Rebel Flags, sweet tea, Confederacy membership, unbearable humidity) I decided to concede and recognize Arkansas as the South. Upon retrospect, I should have also inquired about the local pervasiveness of kudzu and use of the phrase “y’all,” but we all know that hindsight is 20/20.

So, for your edification, my South now constitutes: Southern Virginia, North Carolina, South Carolina, Tennessee, Georgia, Alabama, Mississippi, Louisiana, and Arkansas.

And now, to explain the notable exclusions:
1. Northern Virginia (or NOVA, as the locals call it) cuddles right up to the sprawling metropolitan area of D.C. As a result, NOVA’s attempt at an identity is lost in the shadow of a capital known for its progressiveness and intermingling of diverse national and international cultures, both of which constitute an antithesis to the South.
2. Kentucky is on the fringe of being the South, so I’ll consider the state if someone convinces me to care about it.
3. Texas can't be the South because everyone from there seems to wants Texas to be its own nation anyway.
4. Florida, much like California, is such an American oddity that marches to the beat of its own Red Bull fueled manic drummer, that sometimes I wonder if it’s still considered part of the nation, let alone the South.

In other news, Pennsylvania is a Mid-Atlantic state, maybe even the Mid-West, but not New England (if you were wondering).

Do I crave the center of attention?

Ahhh, life is returning to something that resembles normalcy. I’m four weeks into the six week training at the new job, I have received the first paycheck, and the new apartment is no longer buried under a clutter of boxes. I suppose you could say that “the flux” has subsided.

Oh, and the wedding of Lindley and Mark was wonderful, as was the carpool down to Greenville (thanks for the company Linda and Phil).

But something has been troubling me since Greenville. The night before the wedding I was talking with my friend Kat who was also down for the holy matrimony. Kat randomly wanted to confirm her hypothesis that a certain Furman graduate and I did not get along, because, as she put it, “your similar personalities might clash.” Indeed, this Furman grad (let’s call him “Sturgeon”) and I aren’t exactly friends; but we’re not enemies either—at best, we’re acquaintances.

Well, as the conversation with Kat continued, she half-way said that both “Sturgeon” and I tend to dominate conversations. Um, wow.

So, now I wonder, “do I dominate conversations?” Certainly, as an only child whose parents divorced, I was the focal point of my mother’s attention. Perhaps I crave that same attention in other venues in my life—with friends, social situations, facebook, this blog, etc

Could it be that my sociability verges on being domineering?

Maybe I need to tone it down in social situations: stop focusing on myself and my stories as much, while simultaneously lessening the expression of my humor, verbal quips and one-liners (which would directly contradict this blog's existence, I know).

Or maybe I don’t over-dominate conversations. Maybe my ability to excel in social situations is not due to me browbeating other people into social submission, but rather due to me just excelling in social situations.

I haven’t really figured it all out yet.

What was that clicking on the phone?

Yeah, we're getting a little closer to "Big Brother" here.


(Although, I gotta say, I’ve never put much stock in the idea that terrorists want to kill Americans because we have freedom of speech, press, to bear arms, religion, or judged by a jury of our peers. This is because I think someone on the other side of world who’s just trying to make it day by day couldn’t care less about what political concepts make Americans’ lives more free.

I mean, do they want to kill us because they’re jealous that we can peacefully assemble?

No, they want to kill us because our government has a long history of getting involved in, and manipulating, foreign nations’ political and social climates, including—but not limited to—surreptitiously supporting coups. That, and our presence and influence in the Arab world (not to mention our support of Israel) are seen as an affront to Islam and to Arabs controlling their own part of the world. Not saying that any of that warrants terrorist activity, just saying that's why terrorist hate us, not our freedoms.

Wow, didn't expect to go on that tirade...)

Ring Finger

As I've gotten older, I've noticed some new interest have entered my world.

I now care about 401(k)s and IRAs. Getting good medical coverage rocks my world. I watch CNN like it's my religion, and I see MTV as a stinking pile of crap that destroys your mind and sense of what is good and evil.

I realize that by renting an apartment instead of living in a townhouse, I'm essentially throwing my money away every month. I have become inquisitive about where to purchase the best furniture for the best price (which has lead me to bemoan that's there's no IKEA closer than four hours away, and forced me to accept that Target may not actually be the best place in world).

Furthermore, everyday I'm more and more upset about how much the state and federal government waste my tax money. (WHY am I still paying for Social Security?)

Well, today, I realized that I have achieved another rite of passage into adulthood. Twice today, I found myself looking at an attractive male's ring finger to see if he is married. TWICE. I knew people did such things, but geez. Is it possible that guys my age are more likely to be married than gay? (um, yeah, rhetorical question, I know the answer.)

Is it possible? Am I getting old?

What's next? Will I be impatient to receive AARP benefits? Will I start watching C-Span? Will I call the 16 year old speeding by in his Mustang a "young whipper-snapper?" Will I go on a harangue about when I had to walk to school, up hill, both ways, in the snow? Will I wax nostalgic for the days when gas cost less than a dollar a gallon?

Oh wait, I already do the last one…crap.

Life in Flux

I officially declared early May, “Life in Flux;” when life will be turned upside-down, shaken, tossed around, and then wait around for me to put it upright. There are three reasons for the life in flux:

1. THE NEW JOB:
Yes, once again I have a new job. The mentoring thing didn’t work, mainly because the money was inconsistent (I only got paid for when I physically interacted with a client), so I did the job search once again and hit pay dirt. I will be working for Biogen Idec, doing over the phone customer support for clients taking Biogen’s Multiple Sclerosis medication.

Trust me, the job is awesome: not only do I get to help people with a debilitating disease (something I love), but I also get medical, dental, vision, 401(k), stock options, and an unreal salary—this a real person job.

The new job also means that right now I’m one week into a six-week training for the new job, and that I won’t get a paycheck until the 19th, which may mean that I’ll have to pull out the credit card that hasn’t been used since college, just to make it until the 19th.

2. LINDLEY'S WEDDING:
This upcoming Friday I’ll be driving down to Greenville, SC for a friend’s wedding. I like weddings, and I like Lindley and Mark together, so this event would not be stressful if it weren’t for the wedding being on Saturday, me driving back to Chapel Hill on Sunday, and on Monday moving into…

3. THE NEW APARTMENT:
Indeed, the Monday after Lindley’s wedding, I’m moving into a new apartment with the current roomie Diana. In addition, I have to be completely out of the current apartment by Tuesday.

So, in the span of four days, I’m going to be in Greenville at a wedding, driving back to Chapel Hill, moving out of one apartment, and cleaning and vacating the current apartment. I’m tired just writing that.

Plus, I’m not looking forward to that transition where you have to get all the utilities switched over to a new residence—I may be without cable or the internet for a while (shudder).

My life should be back to normal by the 21st, expect more blogging around then.

Hooters Hokey Pokey

Since it was my last week at the coding job (blog post on the new job coming soon), last Thursday my co-workers decided to take me out to lunch. Awwww.

Now, apparently there have been questions in the office about my sexuality, partly due to the fact that I only came out to a select few co-workers, and partly due to the fact that I’m apparently not the most straight-acting gay man on the planet. So, in an attempt to determine my sexuality, my co-workers decided to take me to the restaurant that no gay man finds intriguing (or stimulating).

Hooters.

I suppose they thought that I would be against eating at such an establishment, citing the objectification of the women’s body or some such, and thus confirm my homosexuality. Instead, I was thinking, “mmm, greasy food, bring it on!”

Our waitress was nice, the table conversations were lively, the food was…um…mediocre, but the big moment came when our waitress pulled me from our table to go do the Hooters Hokey Pokey. She had been informed that this lunch was in my honor, and saw it fit to help me celebrate...or rather have me do something embarrassing in a room full of strangers.

And so, with Hokey Pokey music playing, and rather timid, uninterested onlookers forced to observe this display in Hooters culture, I was made to put my “right wing in” (elbow), then my arms, legs, and “whole chicken.” As usual, this dance was punctuated by shaking of aforementioned appendages, tuning myself around, clapping, and proclaiming that “that’s what it’s all about.” Hilarious.

My co-workers were impressed with my “being a good sport.” I’m impressed that I’ve now been to Hooters.

sidenote: The employees actually called the dance the "Hooters Pokey" to fit into the flow of the song. I refrained from refering to it as such, because poking a hooter just sounds wrong. ha ha.

$2.89 a gallon

The jump in gas prices has hurt, but it could be worse.




Everyone with a fuel-efficient car, please stand up.

White House shake up

Ha ha.

Indeed, when the guy who was in charge of the budget is now in charge of the White House staff, and the guy who handled policy and politics dropped the policy, are you really getting a refreshed staff who will help pull you up from a 33% approval?

How do you?

How do you tell a friend that he’s drinking too much? No, scratch that; how do you tell a friend that he’s getting drunk too much?

How do you tell him that his recent over-indulgence in alcohol and marijuana is unhealthy? How do you tell him that he is using substances to escape the uncertainties in his life?

How do you tell him that, as a man who wants to become a pastor, as a man through which the Christian and non-Christian world views Jesus Christ and the Lord God, he is doing the religion a disservice?

How do you tell a “brother in Christ” that he is stumbling?

And what do you do to help?

I suppose I’ll find out soon. Sigh.

God Be in My Head

I attended Easter service at the Duke University Chapel, and the choir sang such gorgeous choral blessing. The paean was so soft; it verged on being a lullaby, but its words were so powerful and touching, that I wanted to share the blessing with you all:

God be in my head and in my understanding. God be in mine eyes and in my looking. God be in my mouth and in my speaking. God be in my heart and in my thinking. God be at my end and in my departing.

by John Rutter

llegal Immigration

(Note: I use the term “illegal immigrant(s)’’ to refer to any person from any another county who enters the United States via clandestine and non-legal means with intention to reside here long-term.)

Monday was “National day of action for immigration justice,’’ a massive, nation-wide demonstration which advocated the rights of—and pushed for amnesty for—illegal immigrants. The issue of illegal immigration has been in the news for weeks now, and during this time, I have attempted to wrap my head around this complex issue and determine where I stand.

And where do I stand?

On one hand, there is the argument that illegal immigrants do not pay taxes and do not possess necessary documentation to make use of services afforded to American citizens, thereby causing a drain on American resources. You may think that illegal immigration can not cause that much of a drain on resources, but there are an estimated 11-12 million illegal immigrants in the nation. Many, if not most, of these immigrants have children who attend public schools; but these families do not contribute tax dollars for school upkeep and improvement—legal immigrants and American citizens are paying for illegal immigrants to go to school and use school resources.

Furthermore, hospitals are required to assist whoever comes through their doors, even if the patient has no health insurance or a personal means by which to pay for services (illegal immigrants rarely have either). With no way to seek compensation for services rendered, the hospital has to eat the cost of the services, which in turn causes them to raise fees and costs, which causes health insurance companies to raises prices to compensate for higher hospital bills. Yeah, classic snowball effect.

During this illegal immigration debate, I have been very disturbed and confused by the notion that illegal immigrates have some form of “rights’’ that the American government is trying to ignore or circumvent. This notion is perpetuated when people avoid using the term “illegal’’ when discussing “illegal immigration.’’ You may call them “illegal,’’ you may call them “undocumented,’’ but in the end, these are people who gained entry into this nation surreptitiously. They purposely and knowingly avoided the proper channels and process by which to enter the nation, and as such, are not citizens of this nation. So, while illegal immigrants certainly have human rights, they have no rights under the U.S. Constitution. The American government can not circumvent the rights of people who have no (Constitutional) rights.

I have also been baffled by protesters proudly waving non-American flags during pro-illegal immigration rallies and demonstrations. I do not understand what place another nation's flag has at a demonstration that tries to encourage change in the American government. Having pride for your native country is fine, but such pride does not, and will not, persuade the American government, or people, to support your cause. Thankfully, the protest organizers have disseminated the idea that the American flag should be used to persuade the American government to action. Yet, the fact that this idea had to be disseminated demonstrates the protesters’ lack of appreciation and understanding of the nuance of this complex issue. Do they really understand how to get what they want in the confines of American society, history tradition, and culture?

Furthermore, do the protesters understand that for most Americans upholding the law is paramount? If the protesters do understand this, how can they advocate for better treatment for law-breakers? As I mentioned before, illegal immigrants are called such because they broke the law. The idea that we should forgive law-breakers and help them better themselves baffles me.

Imagine, if you will, that you take a vacation for a month. Now during your vacation, a homeless man breaks into your home, eats your food, and wears your clothes to go on a job interview. You then return home to find your house occupied by the homeless man’s family. You order him to leave, but he refuses, citing that he has found a job, that his kids are in school, and to make him leave now would be inhumane. However, he suggests that you should make room for him and his family in your home because he deserves to be treated fairly. This allegory reflects the (unsound) logic used by supporters of illegal immigrants—the supporters would let the homeless man stay.

Supporters of immigrants also claim that illegal immigrants “do the jobs that Americans won’t do.’’ The jobs that are supposedly too demeaning for Americans are: construction, housekeeping, large-scale yard work & landscaping, low-level restaurant staff, etc. But I argue that there are Americans who will do these jobs. I once met a man who lays concrete during the warmer months. He does a job that is not easy, prestigious, or high-paying, but it is a job that he can do. However, every winter he is out of work when it gets too cold to lay concrete. With a lack of job openings in his field, he spends the winter months at home, jobless. Here is a man who takes a job during the summer that most Americans would avoid, but he can’t find work during the winter. Supposedly, illegal immigrants are doing jobs that he wouldn’t, but I think that he would take these jobs if he could. And what of the homeless population with their “will work for food’’ signs? Yes, some of them are mentally unfit to hold down a job, but these men and women desire employment to lift them up out of poverty. In all, where American politicians and illegal immigrant supporters see Americans who won’t take low-paying jobs, I see an untapped workforce.

In light of the above tirade, you’d think my opinion on illegal immigration would be cut and dry. But, in the end, illegal immigrants are trying to better themselves and their families. I know that if I lived in a developing nation and saw a way to gain entry into one of the richest nations on Earth, I’d do whatever it takes to get there. And the fact remains that illegal immigrants want to work hard, make a decent wage, and achieve the American Dream—a universal goal for most Americans, legal and illegal.

Furthermore, as an American, I remember the words emblazoned on the Statue of Liberty,

Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!

Also, as a Christian, I KNOW that God and Jesus Christ see no distinction between “legal’’ and “illegal’’ Americans—that kind of love is unrestricted. In my lifelong journey to be more Christ-like, shouldn’t I try to emulate such loving-kindness?

Alongside my American and Christian status, another facet of the illegal immigration debate complicates my opinion of the issue. There can be no easy, uncomplicated, inexpensive, and/or universally agreed-upon method by which to remove all illegal immigrants from this nation. Illegal immigrants are here, they have burrowed deep into the underbelly of the American workforce; they are a buttress that numerous American businesses rely on. In essence, any federal dragnet meant to remove illegal immigrants would be too porous to get the job done, and too immediately destructive to American business and the economy.

So what are the options? Cut and dry amnesty for those who knowingly broke the law, and continue to do so every second they spend in this country, repulses me.

As mentioned above, forcibly sending every illegal immigrant back to their nation of origin would be complicated and improbable, if not impossible.

Granting illegal immigrants some form of less-than-full-citizen status would clearly create second-class citizens, which is not a viable option.

So, it seems that a guest-worker program is our best choice; but I fear that such a program will come nowhere near resolving the issue.

I suppose that all I can do is hope that our elected officials can make sense of this complex, emotionally-volatile, core-defining issue and devise a workable solution.

I’m not holding my breath…

Katie Couric

I don’t know about Katie Couric’s move to CBS. I mean, the ''whole first female solo anchor'' thing is all well and good, but as the above cartoon insinuates, Katie may not be the best choice as an evening news anchor.

Sure, she reported the news on the Today Show, but she also moderated cooking segments and showed us the new-spring fashions. She’s like that nice neighbor lady who would bake you cookies, show you her new milkshake maker, discuss the protest in France, tell you what Salma Hayek is like, and ask how your first year at college went.

In other words, she’s trustworthy, intelligent, and resolute; but she’s also sweet, personable, and non-threatening. I’m not sure those last qualities are what are needed behind the anchor’s desk of a hard hitting, news driven program.

Of course, the other problem for CBS—and in general, the concept of the evening news cast—is that by 6:30 pm, people have already gotten the day’s news via their cable stations. I know, personally, by 6:30 pm I’ve already watched an hour of The Situation Room with Wolf Blizter (CNN), an hour of Hardball with Chris Mattews (MSNBC), and 30 minutes of Lou Dobbs Tonight (CNN). That’s quite a force for CBS, ABC, and NBC to compete with, and I don't think that Katie Couric is the solution.

Congrats to Florida, "ha-ha" to Tom Delay

I have a confession: I didn’t watch the college basketball championship game tonight. The entire tournament comes down to this one game, and I didn’t care to watch.

I don’t really know why I was so indifferent to a Florida/UCLA match-up. Maybe my ambivalence was due to the fact that I couldn’t care less about either team or the players, maybe it was due to the dismally boring Final Four games, maybe it was due to no UNC/Duke/or even George Mason in the final.

Nevertheless, I’ve been posting about basketball for a while now, and in the interest of consistency, I felt I should comment on Florida’s win over UCLA, 73-57 (another blowout, blah).

So, um, yeah, good job Florida.

In far more interesting news, U.S. House Representative Tom Delay isn’t going to run for re-election, feeling that his connection to lobbying scandals have hurt his chances of re-winning his seat. It’s always nice to see a powerful yet pompous, arrogant, power-hungry, gerrymandering politician go down.

And yeah, I changed the templete of the blog. You like?

Crazy girls in coffee shops

Today, I awoke to a voice mail from my friend Fiona. She was in Durham for the day and wanted to see me. You see, Fiona was a co-worker at the infamous “residential mental health facility” that I worked for a year back in ’04-’05, so it has been a while since I have seen her. Color me excited!

So, we arrange to meet at a coffee shop in Durham. As I’m enjoying my lemonade and ham & cheese sandwich, I overhear a strange girl talk about how she can’t eat raisins and grapes in the same day because they’re essentially the same fruit. I chalk her up to being one of those people with particularly odd dietary habits that they think will keep their body in balance or whatever, and continue with my Fiona time.

Then, Fiona says that the strange girl and her friend just said “Virgil” and “CooperRiis.” You see, Virgil is the Executive Director of CooperRiis, so apparently this random strange girl knows some info about the “mental health facility.” I figure there’s no way that such a random coincidence could occur, and I tell Fiona that she must be mistaken. Then, I hear the strange girl and her friend say even more CooperRiis-specific words, and I am officially convinced.

How peculiar. One current and one former employee of CooperRiis met for lunch in Durham (four hours away from The ‘Riis) and they are sitting next to two girls talking about the place. Wow.

At this point, the strange girl jolts up, spins around, acts a little spastic, and runs off somewhere in the shop. After some discussion as to if we should say anything to these girls, Fiona and I take Strange Girl's abrupt exit as an opportunity to introduce Fiona and myself to Strange Girl’s friend (hereafter known as “not-strange girl”). Not-strange girl seems as generally shocked at the coincidence. Then, Strange Girl comes back, and seems generally uneasy about the coincidence.

But Fiona and I express loving-kindness, magnanimity, and compassion to Strange Girl, and get her to talk about her CooperRiis experience: how she’s been a visit to The ‘Riis, how her parents want her to go there, how she doesn’t think she needs therapy or mental assistance, etc.

So, as the conversation continued, Strange Girl randomly flipped out about her shoelace, didn’t want to shake any of our hands because of germs, says that she wants to be an astronaut but hasn’t gone to astronautics school, asked to have Fiona’s blueberry pie, and other such strange things. Based on her behavior, I personally (and internally) diagnosed her as Paranoid Schizophrenic, OCD, and maybe a little Manic.

But hold on, we find out that Not-strange Girl went to same college as Fiona! In fact, Not-strange Girl knows Fiona’s sister! Oh, what the…Fiona and Not-Strange Girl then recall that they were roommates! Then, Strange Girl pipes in, “hey [not-strange girl], didn’t I know your roommate? Then the light bulbs go off over Fiona’s and Strange Girl’s heads, as they now remember each other. My mind is blown. Blown. And then, they say, in unison…


"APRIL FOOLS!"

What can I say, they got me.

p.s. Strange Girl is not crazy (or strange), but she is one fine actor.